NO PLAYS EXCHANGED 


“ MAKE-UP » BOOK-HOW TO « MAKE-UP.” A practical guide 
for Amateurs, with Twenty-three Colored Illustrations. Price, 50 cents. 


PS 2919 
.S15 C7 
Copy 1 


No. C0C0XIY 


ICH’S STANDARD DRAMA 


®I« ©iriliort 


The Confidential Clerk 


A STIRRING PLAY IN FOUR ACTS 


BY 


W. ELSWORTH STEDMAN 

Author of “The Confederate Spy/ “Yankee Detective/’ 
“Green Mountain Boy,” etc., etc. 

Together with Cast of Characters , List of Properties, Description 
of Costumes, and full directions for Acting and Presenting 
the Play, producing Tableaux, etc. 


SCENE: LOUISVILLE , KY. TIME: THE PRESENT. 


Copyright, 1892, by T. H. French 


New York 
T. H. FRENCH 

SUCCESSOR TO 

SAMUEL FRENCH & SON 

PUBLISHER 

28 West 23d Street 


London 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

89 STRAND 


MAKE-UP BOX. 

Containing Rouge, Pearl Powder, Whiting, Mongolian, Ruddy Rouge, Violet Powder, 
Box and Puff, Chrome, Blue, Burnt Cork, Pencils for the eyelids, Spirit Gum, India Ink, 
Camel Hair Brushes, Hare’s Foot, Wool, Craped Hair, Cold Cream, Joining Paste, Min¬ 
iature Puffs, Scissors and Looking Glass ; packed neatly in Strong Fancy Card-board 
Boxes, $4.00 ; Elegant Tin Cases, $5.00. 

THE ABOVE ARTICLES TO BE HAD SEPARATELY. For Prices, see Catalogue. 




























french’s descriptive list. 


SCENERY. 



"With a view to obviate the great diflicuTy experienced by Amateurs (particularly in 
country houses) in obtaining Scenery, Ac., to fix in a Drawing Room, and then only 
by considerable outlay for hire and great damage caused to walls, we have decided to 
keep a series of Scenes, &c., colored on strong paper, which can be joined together 
or pasted on canvas or wood, according to requirement. Full directions, with dia¬ 
grams showing exact size of Back Scenes, Borders, and Wings, can be had free on 
application. The following four scenes consist each of thirty sheets of paper. 


GARDEN. 

The above is an illustration oF this scene. It is kept in two sizes. The size of the 
back scene of the smaller one is 10 feet long and 614 feet high, and extends, with the 
wings and border, to 35 feet long and 8 feet high. The back scene of the large one 
is 13 feet king and 9 feet high, and extends, with the wings and border, to 20 feet 
long and 11)4 feet high. It is not necessary to have the scene the height of the room, 
as blue paper to represent sky is usually hung at the top. Small size, with Wings and 
Border complete, §7.50; large size, do., $10.03. 


WOOD. 

This is similar in style to the above, only a wood Fceno is introduced in the centre. 
It is kept in two sizes, as the previous scene, and blue paper can be introduced as be¬ 
fore indicated. Small size, with Wings and Borders complete, $7.50; large size. do.. 1 
$ 10 . 00 . 

FOLIAGE.—This is a sheet of paper on which foliage is drawn, which can b« 
repeated and cut in any shape required. Small size, 30 in. by 20 in., 25 cts. per sheet; 
large size, 40 in. by 30 in., 35 cts. per sheet. 

TREE TRXJA T I£.—This is to be used with the foliage sheets and placed at the 
bottom of the scene.—Brice and size same as foliage. 


DRAWING ROOM. 

This scene is only kept in the largo size. The back scene is 13 feet long and 0 feet 
high, and extends, with the wings and borders, to 2) feet long and 11)4 feet high. 
In the centre is a French window, leading down to the ground, which could be made 
practicable if required. On the left wing is a fireplace with mirror above, and on the 
right wing is an oil painting. The whole scene is tastefully ornamented and beauti¬ 
fully colored, forming a most elegant picture. Should a box scene be required 
extra wings can be had, cons ; sting <>f doors each side, which could be made practicable. 
Price, with Border and one set of Wings, $10.00; with Border and two sets of Wings, 
to form box scene, $12.50.\ 

COTTAGE~INTERIOR. 

This is also kept in the larg6 size only. In the centre is a door leading Outside. On 
the left centre is a rustic fireplace, and the right centre is a window. On the wings are 
painted shelves, &c., to complete the scene. A box scene can be made by purchasing 
extra wings, as before described, and forming doors on each side. Price, with Border 
and one set of Wings, $10.00 ; with Border and two sets of Wings, to form box scene 
,$12.50. ___ * 

The above Scenes, mounted, can be seen at 28 West 23d St., 
Kew York. Full directions accompany each Scene. 


OK 

















































The Confidential Clerk 


A STIRRING PLAT IN FOUR ACTS 


Author of 


BY 

W. ELS WORTH STEDMAN 

M 

“The Confederate Spy,” “Yankee Detective,” “ Green 
Mountain Boy,” etc., etc. 




Together with Cast of Characters , List of Properties , 
Description of Costumes , and full directions for 
Acting and Presenting the Play, producing Tab-* 
leaux, etc. _ 

SCENE: LOUISVILLE , ICY. TIME; TEE PEES ENT 


Copyright, 1892, by T. H. French. 


New York 
T. H. FRENCH 


SUCCESSOR TO 

SAMUEL FRENCH & SON 

PUBLISHER 

28 West 23d Street 


London Jf £ ( % V £ 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

89 STRAND 






fSi-Tl 

5'S ^7 




THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 

Cast of characters as first presented at the home of the author, 
Oobleville , Mich., February 12th and 1‘dth, 1802, under his man¬ 
agement. 

Robert Morgan (a retired farmer). . .. .Mr. C. D. Myers 

Thomas Maxwell (a villain). Mr. R. G. Myers 

Frank Montgomery (an innocent abroad).. .Mr. A. W. Myers 

Mike McGann (just from the Boggs). Author 

Petaii Johnsing (a geman ob color) . Mr. Will Herman 

Ephreham Johnsing (chip ob de ole block) 

Master Clark Millspaugh 

Esquire Snyder . Mr. Harry Huff 

John, the Boatman. Mr. Harry Huff 

Burk, the Detective. Mr. Harry Huff 

Mrs. Robert Morgan. Mrs. C. D. Myers 

Miss Edna Morgan. . Mrs. Ella Millspaugh 

Bessie Morgan, the Missing Child. Miss Jessie Millspaugh 

Miggie (a nurse girl). Miss Hina Myers 

Police No. 37... J. M. Hall 


Sailors, Citizens, Police, etc. 

Time of playing, two hours and thirty minutes. 

Note.—T his play can be cut down to half the characters by doubling ; or can 
be made more heavy by introducing specialties in the picnic scene, live mule 
and cart, etc. ; also scene of Mike and the child rowing, songs and other speci¬ 
alties in street scene, etc. 


/Z-3TfZ/ 













THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


3 


Costumes. 

Robert Morgan. —First Act : Ordinary suit. Parlor 
Scene : Dressing gown and slippers. On return from ride, 
light summer overcoat. 

Maxwell. —Long dark coat, high boots, wide-rimmed 
black hat, and long-haired wig. No change. 

Montgomery. —-First Act : Short cutaway coat, high rid¬ 
ing-boots, silk hat. Parlor Scene : Neat full-dress or evening 
suit. At picnic : Light overcoat. 

Mike. —Ordinary swallow-tailed coat, white vest, high 
collar, green necktie, red wig, and full red beard. At picnic : 
Long ulster and white plug hat. At court : Plain dark suit. 

Pete. —Ordinary characteristic suit. At picnic : Large 
plaid ulster, white gloves, old plug hat. 

Other Gents. —Dressed to suit their stations—Sailors, 
Police, etc. 

Mrs. Morgan. —Ordinary dark evening dress and outing 
suit for picnic. 

Edna. —Full riding habit, jockey cap or hat in First Act. 
Outing suit for picnic. Pretty evening dress for parlor. 

Mtggie. —Ordinary domestic suit. 

Bessie. —White dress for parlor, light blue for picnic. 

Properties. 

Rustic seat and table, letters for Mike, hat and shawl for 
Bessie, box for dinner at picnic, rope, riding-whip for Edna, 
large card for Pete's back, mouth organ for Ephreham, also 
spider and string, pistol for Mike, knife for Montgomery, 
photograjfli and eye-glasses for Morgan, hammock, wine bot¬ 
tles and glasses, police stars and clubs, red wig and beard 
for Mike, diamond for Bessie, large dummy to represent 
Ephreham. 

Bill of Play. 

Act I. —Exterior view at Robert Morgan’s home. Ephre¬ 
ham and his aged sire. A dirty piece of trick. Miggie and 
her threat. The new guest. Mike is interviewed by his em¬ 
ployer. “Tell me at once, or I’ll throttle you.” Edna and her 
admirer. Bessie, the Butterfly. Montgomery and Bessie have 
a pleasant chat with a mysterious ending. “You must 
have been dreaming.” “ My God, it’s one of those stolen dia¬ 
monds!” SuddCn appearance of Maxwell. “I am here for 
satisfaction.” Bessie brings the diamond. Foiled. Mont¬ 
gomery in anger. Held at bay. 

Scene 2.—Mike interviewed by Maxwell. “I’ll give you 
five thousand dollars if you will remove Bessie Morgan from 


4 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


the face of the earth.” The plot and conspiracy. Mike yields 
to the temptation. One thousand down. Mike wants a quart 
av poor whiskey. The same old story—“Whiskey did it.” 
Maxwell and Montgomery have a midnight talk. “ Hark ! 
what’s that ?” My God, it’s Morgan’s ghost! 

Tableau. 

Act II.—Parlor at the hom 1 of Robert Morgan. Mrs. Mor¬ 
gan’s interrogation. Morgan 3 moral sermon. Arrival of 
Montgomery and Edna. Tliatfi "al photograph. “ Zouah bosses 
am ready, sah.” Bessie recognizes the picture. Plan for the pic¬ 
nic. The afternoon drive. Montgomery in an embarrassing 
situation. Proposes aistroll in the park. Mike appears on the 
scene. “ How very polite you are, Micky.” Mike and the De¬ 
tective. Mike makes a blunder, and wants to “ foite wid some 
wan.” “Ye see, sor, when Maxwell be in Morgan be out.” 
Maxwell misleads the officer. Montgomery and Edna have 
a falling out. Jealousy. “I will think twice before I believe 
that.” “There’s the door, sir ; will you be kind enough to 
leave this room ?” Rash words. Caught in the act. 

Picture. 

Act III.—Picnic at the lake. Maxwell pleads for his friend. 
“Further words are useless ; he has sacrificed my friendship.” 
Maxwell tries the scare act, and scores a point. “Where is 
your proof, sir ?” Mrs. Morgan’s sympathy. Pete and the other 
mule come with the dinner. “ Lemuel” gets on his dignity, 
and kicks out the dashboard. Mike promises Bessie a ride on 
the lake. Trouble in the dinner-box. “Well, what koind av a 
lunch de ye call thot, onyway ?” Ephreham comes to the picnic 
in a peculiar way. A rough joke.- Wine for six. Maxwell as 
a poet. Bessie goes with Mike for a ride on the lake. Edna 
interviews her father. Consternation. “ Sir, would you dare 
intimate that Henry Morgan was dishonest?” Montgomery 
plays a sharp game. “My God, man, if this be true I’m 
ruined!” Maxwell brings the clinching proof. Morgan a pen¬ 
niless man. Mike comes back without Bessie. Consternation 
in camp. “ For God’ssake, man, don’t drive me mad!” Dis¬ 
ciples of the Lynch law. Mike in a bad fix. Rescued by the 
police. 

Act IV.—Home again. Morgan in a perplexing situation. 
Pete offers to be sold to save the home. A forced marriage. 
Edna’s sacrifice. Pete and the goblins. Squire Snyder. As¬ 
tonished. The wedding and how it terminated. The de¬ 
nouncement. Thomas Maxwell and Frank Montgomery find 
their match. Diamond cut Diamond. “We’re in the soup.” 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


5 


“ Say, you white man, I want dem ten centses I owe you.’ 1 
Happy denouement. Good-night. 


Stage Directions. 

R. means right—the actor facing the audience ; L., left ; C., 
centre ; R.C., right centre ; R.U.E., right upper entrance. 
L. 1st E., Left first entrance, nearest to the foot-lights ; R. 1st 
E., opposite, etc. Coming down, means coming to front of 
stage. Going up, means back of stage, etc. 














THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


ACT I. 

SCENE I. — Exterior view adjoining the home of Robert Mor- 
• gan. Wood scene, hack wall, with opening seven feet high. 

(See Diagram across hack.) Rustic seat l. 1st e., also one 
close to wall , l. u. e. Rustic stand, u. c. Front entrance 
to house, l. c. As curtain rises Pete discovered sleeping on 
seat hy wall. After a pause, the face of Ephreham is seen to 
rise above the wall hack of Pete. Ephreham looks over the wall 
at Pete, then takes a string from his pocket, to which is at¬ 
tached a large black spider (in resemblance). Ephreham lowers 
the spider down into the old man's face, who, after business of 
brushing away, springs quickly up in great fright. After a 
pause he discovers the grinning face of Ephreham above the 
wall. 

Pete. Look heah, you Ephreham ; how many times I done 
tole yer dat if you pesticate you ole fadder any mo, I gib you 
sich a warmin’ dat you won’t know who you mudder was. You’s 
a disgrace to dis yer whole town. (Ephreham laughs.) Look 
heah, boy, I ain’t foolin’ wid you. You tink kaze I lofe you go 
for to hook some of de parson’s watalimilions dat I sofen my 
ole heart ebery time. Now you git wat down from dar. I 
done tole you eleben times to keep ofen dat fence ; now I’ze 
gwan for to paddle ye. (Exits c. Ephreham disappears. Pete 
heard outside calling.) Heah, sah, you come back heah. Yo’ 
know who yo’ fadder be ! Yo’ come back heah, sah. (Enters c., 
and comes down gesticulating.) I clar to goodness ef dat boy 
ain’t run wid de white trash till he doan know any moah dan 
he fadder do. Ges you wait till I git my lians on dat coon. 

Enter Michael McGann, r. 2 e. 

Mike (aside). Oh, ho, ho ! Git on till the hay then nagcr 
(to Pete), lleh, nager, deye want to foite some wan ? Oh, I 
don’t kno ! 

Pete (indignant). Say, you white man, who you callin’ nig- 
gah ? I broke you jaw you done call me niggah. 



THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


7 


Mike. Oh, come off wid ye ! D’ye think Oi’d be pelaverin’ 
wid the loikes av ye ? Phere’s the masther ? 

Pete. You spoze Pze gwan to tole you whar Mars Morgan 
be ? No, sah ; kaze I doan know. 

Enter Miggie, c., in time to hear the last. 

Miggie. Then go and find him and tell him he wants you. 

Pete {going to c.). Yas, Missus Miggie ; Pze gwan. 

Mig. See here, Pete, that imp of darkness of yours got in 
the conservatory this morning, and pulled up a lot of choice 
flowers ; and if I catch him I’ll whip the black all otf his hide. 

Pete. Yo’ can’t ketch dat coon, missus. I done try fo’ de 
las’ week to git my hans on dat chile. [Exits, c. 

Mike. Miggie, pheres the masther ? 

Mig. If it’s Mr. Morgan you want, I saw him on the walk 
with a stranger as I came here. 

Mike. A stranger ! Phat did he look loike ? 

Mig. Why, he looked like a gentleman, to be sure. 

Mike. Now, Miggie, don’t be afther pokin’ fun at me. Was 
he black or white ? 

Mig. Neither one. 

Mike. Oh, dear, dear, dear ! You make me toired. Av the 
mon wasn’t black or white, phat in the name av Saint Pat¬ 
rick was he ? 

Mig. He was dark complected and wore a black mustache. 
Now, why are you so inquisitive ? Are you afraid it’s the sheriff ? 

Mike. Oi didn’t know but it moite be the fool-killer, an’ 
he’d be takin’ ye away from us. 

Mig. Oh, you horrid thing ! [Exits, l. c., into house. 

Enter Robert Morgan and Thomas Maxwell, c. 

Morgan. It was always a great mystery to me how my broth¬ 
er died insolvent, when we all supposed him to be one of the 
solid men of Wall Street. 

Maxwell. He was in excellent circumstances when I was 
last there, but such is often the case with speculators. Your 
brother was probably stricken down when financial matters 
Avere against him. Sometimes a speculator will meet with re¬ 
verses, and will be held back from financial ruin by the merest 
chance, and perhaps next day be a millionaire. 

Morg. {to Mike). Michall, show this gentleman to a room, 
and return to me. Mr. Maxwell, make yourself at home, and I 
will join you later. 

Max. You are very kind, Mr. Morgan, and I appreciate your 
hospitality. 

Mike. This way, sor. 

[Starts to exit, l. c., followed by Maxwell. 

Morg. Michael, have you been for the mail ? 


8 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mike, (producing letters). Oh, begorra, Oi forgot that Oi 
have some phat ones for yez ! 

[ Owes letters, and exits with Maxwell, l. c. 

(Morgan sits on rustic seat , near table, opens letter, and reads 

aloud.) 

“ Pinkerton’s National Detective Agency, New York. 

“ To Robert Morgan, Esq., Louisville, Ky. 

“Dear Sir: We have at last succeeded in locating the 
man whom we believe to have been implicated in the murder of 
Lord Burton at your brother’s house. We have secured a pho¬ 
to, and are having some copies made, one of which will be for¬ 
warded to you, probably by next mail. Please advise us at 
once if you recognize it to be the likeness of any one you have 
ever met. 

“ Respectfully yours, 

“ R. Pinkerton, Superintendent.” 

(Morgan whistles in surprise, lays letter on the table as Mike 

enters, l. c.) 

Morg. Michael, you stated when you hired to me, one year 
ago, that you had been in my brother’s employ before his death. 

Mike. Yes, sor, Oi was, sor, before he doid ; he didn’t need 
ony servant aftherward. 

Morg. How long were you in his employ ? 

Mike. Iver since he was in Neyoirlc. 

Morg. Stuff and nonsense ! What did you do ? 

Mike. Oi was his confidential clerk, sor. 

Morg. Confidential fiddlesticks ! Mr. Montgomery was his 
confidential clerk. 

Mike. But, sor, couldn’t he have two confidential clerks ? 
If Oi were as rich as he war, Oi’d have a dozen. 

Morg. Man, you are either a fool or a knave. I was at my 
brother’s home many times, and I am positive that had you been 
there in his employ I should have seen you. My brother’s death 
was shrouded in mystery, and from your actions I am led to be¬ 
lieve you know something of the cause. Now I am determined 
that you shall explain yourself, or I intend to know why not. 

Mike. Look here, Misther Morgan, ave ye’ll kape down 
that ugly temper av yours, an’ come down on a livil wid mesilf, 
Oi’ll prove to yez that Oi’m nather a fool or a knave, though ye 
may see something grane in me eye. Ye say that ye were at 
yer brother’s house and niver saw mesilf there. Now, Oi’ll show 
yez that me memory is the bist. The lasht toime yez came to 
yer brother’s house war in response to a telegram on the 29th 
av May, three years ago. Ye came on the 11: 45 train. (Morgan 
deeply interested.) Yer brother met ye at the station, an’ ye 
wint directly till the Asther House an’ Room 24. 

Morg. (quicJcly). Stop ! How do you know this ? 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


9 


Mike. Because Oi were yer brother’s confidential clerk, 
sor. 

Mono, (rising, seizing him by throat). Explain this matter at 
once, or I’ll throttle you. 

Mike (throwing him off). No ye won’t, Mr. Morgan ; whin 
ye harm me ye sacrifice the bist friend ye have on earth. 

Morg. (sitting). Perhaps I’m too hasty ; go on. 

Mike. Now, Misther Morgan, wasn’t the subject av yer 
conversation that day Murther ? 

Morg. (syringing up). Sh ! (Goes to c. and looks out.) Come 
to my library, where no one will hear us, and tell me how you 
came to know what I supposed was only known to my brother 
and myself, and (pointing upward) our God. 

Mike. Now ye talk loike a sinsable mon ; come. (Starts to 
go ; meets Edna Morgan and Mr. Montgomery. Mike makes 
a low courtesy and passes out as they enter.) 

Edna (to Morgan). Oh papa, we’ve had just the loveliest can¬ 
ter over to Woodside and back, and Prince behaved like a 
major to-day. 

Morg. Glad to know you had a pleasant ride. Were you 
ever over that road before, Mr. Montgomery ? 

Mont. Never before to-day. The scenery is just grand. 

Edna. I’m afraid I nearly talked you to death. 

Mont. On the contrary, I think such pleasant companion¬ 
ship is calculated to prolong one’s years ; I’m not so easily ex¬ 
terminated as you think. 

Edna. Papa, Mr. Montgomery has been telling me all about 
poor Uncle Henry. You know, he was uncle’s confidential 
clerk. 

Morg. Yes, I remember ; and, by the way, there’s a gentle¬ 
man here who was once a great friend of my Brother Henry. 
He came here to make some inquiries concerning his death, 
and I’ve begged him to remain as our guest over Sabbath. 
You may perhaps know of him, Mr. Montgomery ; his name is 
Maxwell. 

Mont, (striving to appear calm). The name sounds familiar, 
though I can’t just place such a person. 

Morg. You’ll meet him at dinner ; and that reminds me that 
I have an appointment at this hour, and beg you will excuse 
me. 

Edna. Papa, cannot you remain while I change my habit ? 

Morg. Here comes Bessie ; Mr. Montgomery can’t get lone¬ 
some in her society. (Bessie r uns in at c. with a jumping rope.) 
Here, my little butterfly, you aie just in time to entertain Mr. 
Montgomery till your cousin’s return. (Exit, L.c. 

Mont. Yes ; Bessie and I are old friends. 

Edna. Then you will enjoy a nice t£te-a-t£te till my return. 
(Starts to leave, l. c., Montgomery sits, and proceeds to light 
cigarette.) 


10 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Bessie ( running after Edna, who waits at exit). Cousin Edna, 
you liavn’t given me a kiss to-day. (Edna kisses her and exits. 
Bessie returns and climbs on seat beside Montgomery.) 

Bessie. Ob, Mr. Montgomery, won't you tell me a story ? 
You used to tell me stories when you lived at our house ; don’t 
you remember ? 

Mont. Oh, yes, I remember well ; but I thought you were 
only a wee little girl at that time, and would forget before this. 

Bessie. Oh, no; I haven’t forgotten; and I remember that aw¬ 
ful night when the nice old gentleman was killed at our house. 
Wasn’t that dreadful ? 

Mont. I was away at that time on my vacation. 

Bessie. But you were there that night, ’cause I saw you 
pass through my room, and you went out at the window. 

Mont. ( much excited). Why, Bessie, you are certainly labor¬ 
ing under a mistake. I was an hundred miles away. You 
must have been dreaming. 

Bessie. It was no dream, for I saw you drop something, 
which glittered in the moonlight, and after you were gone I 
climbed out of bed and picked it up, and it was the prettiest 
little stone I ever saw. I’ve got it yet. 

Mont. ( starting to his feet). Oh heaven, it’s one of those 
stolen diamonds ! 

Bessie. Are you ill, Mr. Montgomery ? 

Mont. ( trying to recover himself). Oh, no ; just a slight pain 
in my head. I’m subject to them. 

Bessie. Shall I go for Cousin Edna’s smelling bottle ? 

Mont. I’m all right now, Bessie ; but tell me, have you ever 
mentioned this matter to any one ? 

Bessie. No, sir ; there was so much excitement next day 
that I forgot it. Then I was sent here, and after that poor papa 
was drowned, and then I thought I had better keep it, and may¬ 
be I would see you some day and give it back. 

Mont. ( nervously ). That’s right ; you are a brave little girl. 

Bessie. My mamma always told me it was very naughty to 
keep things that belonged to another, and I’ll go right now 
and get it. 

Mont. That’s a good little girl; go (she starts to go) ; but say, 
Bessie, don’t let any one see you have it or give it to me. 

Bessie. Are you afraid they will think you stole it, and will 
take it from you ? 

Mont. Sh ! don’t talk so loud, Bessie ; go, now, and hurry 
back ; that’s a good girl. [She exits, l. c. 

Mont, (coming down and speaking very slowly). Her mother 
taught her it was wrong to steal. How well do I remember 
the precepts of my mother—peace to her ashes!—and the lessons 
I learned as I knelt at her knee, one of which burns in my 
memory night and day—Thou shalt not kill”! Oh heaven, 
that I were a boy again ! But, no, that can never be. I spurned 


TIIE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


11 


fi father’s warning and a dear mother’s prayers and tears, and 
to-day I am a— {starts). No, it shall not be so. A man is in¬ 
nocent until he is proven guilty. {Striking an attitude.) I de¬ 
fy the world to prove that I am a murderer. {Returns to seat , 
and discovers letter on table , u. c. ; looks cautiously around , then 
reads to himself after a pause.) Already the hounds of the law 
are on our track. That photograph must never reach Mr. Mor¬ 
gan’s hands. Forewarned is forearmed. Let me see, this is dated 
the 18th. ( Stands , c., and looks at letter again. Mike comes 

quietly in c. and stands behind him , and gently taps him on 
shoulder.) 

Mike. Av ye plaze, the masther wud loike thot lether. 

Mont, {starting violently , pauses , then hands letter to Mike, 
who turns to go). See here, my man, I owe you an apology for 
looking at that letter ; jilease not mention it to your master. 

.Mike. All roite, sor ; Oi’ll kape it entoirely to mesilf, unless 
Oi happen to shpake av it. 

Mont, {giving a coin). Here’s a silver dollar to seal your 
tongue with. 

Mike. Oi’m as dumb as an isther, sor ; Oi’d be dumb fer a 
whole year, af every toime Oi’d shpake some wan wad give me a 
dollar to kape shtill. [Exits c. 

Enter Tom Maxwell, l. c., to Montgomery, icho is at c., 

looking after Mike. 

Max. Montgomery ! 

Mont, {starting in surprise). Tom Maxwell, why are yon 
here ? 

Max. To find you, my lark. Who was that chap you were 
just talking with ? 

Mont, {sitting). Oh, that was one of the servants! 

Max. Are you as generous with all the servants as with this 
one ? The last time we met, if my memory serves me, you were 
dead broke. You must have struck it rich since then. 

Mont. What are you driving at ? 

Max. Well, sir, if it’s necessary to drop a brick house on 
you in order to penetrate your thick skull and muddy brain, 
I’ll tell you plainly that I’m onto your whole scheme. While 
concealed here, I not only saw you read that letter and buy the 
Irishman off with your silver dollar, but I heard your whole 
conversation with the child in regard to the diamond ; and now, 
Frank Montgomery, I demand to know why you lied to me on 
the night we did that job, when you swore to me that you 
did not find the diamonds we expected to get from our victim. 

Mont, {nervously). Don’t speak so loud, Tom ; some one 
will hear you. 

Max. {coming nearer). Some one be bio wed! I came here 
for satisfaction, either in my part of that swag or in a way 
that will cause you to regret that you were ever born. 


12 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mont. ( rising and standing very straight). Well, now, 
Thomas Maxwell, what do you propose to do ? 

Max. Demand half those diamonds at once. 

Mont. And suppose I should refuse ? 

Max. Then I swear I will avenge this insult before you are 
a day older. 

Mont. I think I comprehend your threat ; but let me tell 
you two can play at that game. You had better plan some 
other method for gaining your purpose, for by brutal force 
you’ll not. What are your claims against me ? 

Max. You know what my claims are. You came to me on 
the evening before we committed that deed, and said Lord 
Burton was a guest of your employer, Henry Morgan, and that 
you had positive knowledge that Burton had twenty thousand 
dollars in diamonds concealed about his person, and you ex¬ 
plained how you made the discovery. 

Mont. Well, what does that signify now ? 

Max. Just this, my covey. After we had planned and exe¬ 
cuted that job, and I had trusted you to look after the swag, 
you had the effrontery to tell me that a few paltry dollars were 
all you found ; but I never believed you, and }mur talk with 
the child, a few minutes ago, confirms my suspicion. Now, 
in the face of all this, I demand half the spoils—ten thousand 
dollars—and your answer must be soon and to the point. 

Mont. ( after a pause). Well, as you hold the winning cards, 
I am compelled to submit. Meet me at twelve o’clock to¬ 
night, at this place, and I’ll have the diamonds with me. 

Max. Never ! You deceived me once, and would do so 
again if I give you the chance. 

Mont. Well, what can I do ? I haven’t them with me. 

Max. Then I will go with you to get them. I don’t pro¬ 
pose to lose sight of you. 

Mont. Very well ; I will do that on one condition. 

Max. Name it. 

Mont. That you never trouble me again. 

Max. Don’t you need my services in the game you are now 
playing ? 

Mont. Explain yourself. 

Max. Oh, I am not as verdant as you think me! You are 
trying your level best to woo and marry Miss Edna for Henry 
Morgan’s money, which goes to her should his own little 
daughter not live to use it. 

Mont. But the child does live, and enjoys the best of 
health. 

Max. That is just why you need my services. 

Mont. And do you think I’ve become so degraded as to 
resort to such means to win fortune ? I would not harm that 
dear little child for the wealth of India. 

Max. ( sneeringly ). Oh, no ; you wouldn’t harm a mouse ; 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


13 


but if the child was to sicken and die, leaving your wife sole 
owner of her uncle’s estate, you would be only too glad. Now, 
pard, you have only to win the hand of fair Edna, and pledge 
to me that when she is sole possessor of her uncle’s estate you 
will favor me with live thousand pounds, and you need give no 
further thought to the matter. 

Mont. Maxwell, you’re a devil. 

Max. Perhaps I am, but you are no angel. You had better 
call it a go. 

Mont. I can’t do it, Tom. I know my life has been one 
grand round of crime, but I’m going to reform. Come with 
me, and I’ll get your half of that swag. 

Max. But suppose you should reform, and should succeed 
in marrying Miss Edna, and should suddenly find yourself 
possessor of the estate, you wouldn’t mind helping an old 
pard, would you ? 

Mont. Tom, why do you tempt me in this way ? You 
know I would help you as a friend, but I would never consent 
to intrigue. 

Max. (laughing and slapping Montgomery on shoulder). 
Frank, you’re a clever lad. Let’s have the diamonds. 

Mont. And you will leave here at once ? 

Max. Yes, this very night. \Both exit , r. 1 e. 

Enter Mike, l. 1 e., very much amazed. 

Mike. Well, Oi’ll be teetotally cat-clawed if that ain’t a pair 
av foine birds. Murther an’ blazes, phat’s to be did wid the 
loikes av thim! Now, O’i don’t want to be casting reflections 
on the gintlemen, but it’s me private sintiments that they're 
not honest (scratches his head). Now, Oi’ve got something in 
my head. The day that Misther Montgomery is married to 
Miss Edna the wedding won’t come off, be dad! Oi’ll cook 
his clook so brown that he can’t ate it. An’ de ye think the 
dirty blaguards have been murtherin’ the Lord av Burton fer 
his diamonds ? An’ me a-standin’ there loike a bump on a log 
an’ listenin’ to thim a-talkin’ abute it, an’ a-bitin’ me jaw to 
kape from swearin’! Now, Oi’ll jist kape an eye on the lads, 
an’ Oi won’t say a woird to any one only phat Oi kape to 
mesilf. 

Old Pete ( heard outside , c.). Whoa dar, Lemuel! whoa 
dar! Ephreham, you keep away from dat mule. Lof go dat 
mule’s tail, you young fool niggah. Whoa dar, Lemuel! 
(Pete runs in at c. with whip , etc., very much excited; turns 
round quickly and calls out , u Whoa dar , mule ! ” During the 
above a great noise should be made back of wall , like the kick¬ 
ing of a mule, Ephreiiam yelling, etc. Suddenly a dummy is 
thrown in the air, which appears to audience (as it shows above 
the icall) to be Ephreham kicked in the air by the nude. 
Ephreham comes in, c., bawling loudly, with clothes torn , etc.) 


14 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Pete. Now, I guess you keep away from dat mule. Come 
heak, chile, an’ lof me see ef you neck am broke. Whar did 
de mule kick ye ? (Ephreham puts hand on top of his head.) 
On de top of yer cocanut, eh ? Did it hurt you, honey ? 

Eph. Yas ; it doan hurt much, but it knock de shoes ofn 
dat mule’s foot. (Ephreham climbs on rustic seat , and proceeds 
to blow on a mouth organ , as if nothing had happened.) 

Enter Maxwell, r. 1 e. 

Max. Say, my colored friend, can you take me to the sta¬ 
tion in time for the evening train north ? {Looks at watch.) 
You have forty minutes yet. 

Pete. Can I tote you wid my mule, sah ? 

Max. Yes ; any way to get there. Hurry up. 

Pete. Yas, sah ; I’ll go an’ get dat mule right away im- 
megitly. Heah you, Ephreham, you go an’ git you ole ladder 
some corn to ketch dat mule wid. 

Eph. {feeling his head). Say, boss, you mustn’t fool wid dat 
mule’s tail, else he shake hans wid yer nose ; he’s pow’ful 
handy wid his heels. [Ephreham and Pete both exit , c. 

Max. {to Mike on seat , r. 2 e., who pretends to be reading 
paper). Now, my man, I want a little information, which I 
think you can give. Will you answer a few questions ? 

Mike. That Oi will, av it don’t be too conflicting with me 
political views. 

Max. How long have you been in the employ of Mr. 
Morgan ? 

Mike {without looking up from his paper). Oi came here six 
months afther the death av Lord Burton. 

Max. {starting). Of whatf 

Mike. The murther av Lord Burton, sor. Did ye niver 
hear av that mon ? 

Max. When did it happen ? 

Mike. Shure, it’s yersilf ought to know that as well as me. 

Max. {aside). Can it be that fellow mistrusts me ? {To 
Mike.) What did you know of that affair ? 

Mike (laying down paper). Phat did I know ? {With con¬ 
fidential air.) Ken ye kape a secret, sor ? 

Max. Yes ; you are right I can. 

Mike ( resuming his paper). So ken Oi. 

Max. Come down to business, and I’ll pay you well for it. 
What wages do you earn here ? 

Mike. Oi earn more than Oi git, be dad! 

Max. Well, how much do you get ? 

Mike. Oi git all Oi ken, sor ; thrust me fer that. 

Max. Never take anything that don’t belong to you, I 
suppose ? 

Mike. Thot’s none av yer business, sor. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


15 


Max. Oh, don’t be touchy! I’m up to snuff myself, and I 
can put you in a way to make a small fortune in one day, if 
you can keep dark. 

Mike. Kape dark, is it ? Well, now, how the divil ken a 
mon kape dark in the day-toime ? 

Max. Keep mum, lay low, do the work I give you, and ask 
no questions. 

Mike. Oh, Oi see ! Yer a speculator, an’ ’ave some vil¬ 
lage lots fer sale in beautiful Florida or some other city. 

Max. No ; it’s not that. I have a little work to do that’s 
not strictly honest, and I’ll pay you big money to assist me— 
that is, if you swear secrecy. 

Mike. Well, Oi don’t know about that. Suppose Oi git 
mesilf in trouble, an’ wake up some foine mornin’ an’ foind 
mesilf kilt entoirely ? 

Max. No danger if you keep mum and follow my instruc¬ 
tions. 

Mike ( throwing down pap c r) . An’ phat moite they be ? 

Pete (heard outside talking to mule). Whoa, Lemuel ! 
Heali, Ephreham, you come an’ hole dis yar mule ; den ye can 
come to de kere station wid you ole fadder an’ de odder white 
man. 

Max. (to Mike). Meet me here at midnight, and I’ll tell 
you all about it. 

Mike. But, sor, Oi thot ye were goin’ on the train ? 

Max. Only a blind ; I'll be here on time. Will you meet 
me ? 

Mike. Yes, sor; Oi will, sor. 

Enter Pete, c., dressed in a long ulster ; big figure. 

Pete. De mule am ready, sah. 

Max. All right. (To Mike.) Mum is the word; don’t 
fail me; there is wealth in it for you. (Pete turns to go, c., 
when a large card is discovered on his back; reads , “Korn for 
Sail”) 

Max. (taking card off and giving to Pete). Hold on here, 
man, what is all this ? 

Pete (holding it up and viewing it in disgust). Dat chile am 
boun’ to bring his ole fadder’s gray liars down to de grave. 

[Pete and Maxwell exit, c. 

Mike (starting to go, l. c.) Oh, moy ! oh, moy! There’s mis- 
cliafe in the air. Phat ken the mon want av me in the middle 
av the noite, onyway ? Oh, dear, Oi’m afraid there’s trouble 
a-brewin’, but Oi’ll kape me woird, for there’s money in it! 

Enter Bessie, l. u. e. 

Mike. Ah, there, me dariin'! Where are yez afther goin’ 
now ? 


16 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Bessie. Where is Mr. Montgomery ? 

Mike. Oi don’t know, me lass. Phat do yez want av him ? 
Phat ’ave yez got in yer hand ? (Bessie puts one hand behind 
her and shoics open hand.) Oh, but let me see the ither hand ? 

Enter Montgomery, r. 1 e. 

Mont. She has nothing of yours ; just go about your busi¬ 
ness and let her alone. Give it to me, Bessie. 

Mike ( stepping between them). Oi wonder av she will. Bessie, 
give me that ye ’ave in yer hand. {She gives diamond.) Now, 
go in the house directly. 

[Bessie exits , l. c. Mike starts to follow, when Montgomery 
draws a hnife and springs toward him, Mike quickly 
presents pistol. Tableaux closed in by street scene. 


SCENE II.— Street on public drive. Old Pete crosses stage from 
r. to l., gesticulating and calling to an imaginary person in 
the distance. 

Pete. Heah you, Ephreham, come back wid dat mule! 
You gwan to make you ole fadder walk clar home ? Come back 
heah! I clar to goodness, I hab to sen dat coon to de house 
ob inspection. 

[Exits, l., or if the person be a good singer, he can linger and 
sing, or deliver an oration, then exit, l. 

Enter Maxwell and Montgomery, r. 

Mont. Maxwell, I thought you were to leave town to¬ 
night ? 

Max. Can’t a man change his mind if he wishes ? 

Mont. Not in this case without breaking his word ; but 
I’m glad you didn’t go, Tom ; there’s a storm brewing, and I 
shall need your assistance, after all. You heard my conversa¬ 
tion with the child in regard to the diamond ? She did her 
part like a little major, but was intercepted by that infernal 
Irishman, who took the diamond from her hand and held me 
at bay with a revolver. Now, what’s to be done ? The child 
is liable to tell her story at any time, and that Irish devil is 
sure to squeal on us, if he hasn’t already, and I think we had 
better make ourselves scarce at once. 

Max. Pshaw! What a tender foot you are! Just swear to 
stand by me, and I’ll manage matters all right. 

Mont. But hold on, Tom; here is still another eye-opener. 
{Produces photograph from his pocket.) Pinkerton has sent your 
photograph to Mr. Morgan as one of the suspects in the 
Burton murder. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


17 


Max. Thunder and blazes, things are warming up in great 
shape! But how did you come by this ? 

Mont. That letter you saw me reading explained that it 
would be here by this mail. I took in the situation, and told 
Morgan this evening that I would bring his mail from the 
office, as I had business down-town. He gave me the key to 
his lock box, and on receiving the package, I carefully re¬ 
moved the photograph, and replaced it by one of a friend of 
mine now living at Montreal. 

Max. Well, that’s cool and clever. Let’s be getting on, 
or some one will be piping us. There’s some fine figuring to 
do if we steer clear of the nailers. [ Both exit , l. 

Enter Mike, r. 

Mike. Oi’m out on a promenade this avenin’ fer the good 
o’ me health. Oi caught a bad cold in me head lasht noiglit, 
shlaping wid me ears open. To-noite Oi expect to shlape "wid 
both me two eyes open. Oi’ve got an’ apintment to fillfull 
to-noite at twelve o’clock, an’ av it makes me as rich as the 
mon said it wad, wont Oi put on shtyle ! Oi’ll wear me hat 
on me head slaunch ways, like thot. (Puts hat on one side.) 
Oi’ll go down to the Talapoosa House an’ buy some av Brown’s 
best cigaroots, an’ Oi’ll have quail on trust, be dad! Oi must 
be on toime an’ kape me woird good. (Exits, l. 

SCENE III. — Same as Scene /., lights clown. Mike sitting on 
rustic seat at back. 

Mike. Oh, me! oh, moy! This is a great toime o’ noight 
fer a rispectable Irishman to be prowlin’ around loike a hungry 
lion, seekin’ whom he may devour some wan. (Striking an 
attitude.) This be the toime o’ noite when whiskey walks 
abroad an’ graveyards groan. Phat will Oi do to amuse me- 
silf ? Av Oi smoke me old pipe, some wan will see the loite. 
Oi know phat Oi’ll do; Oi’ll ’ave a game av base-ball all to 
mesilf. (Plays an imaginary game of catch for about tieo min¬ 
utes.) (See Note.) Arrah! but av thot mon don’t come soon 
Oi’ll make a home run, an’ whin he arrives he’ll foind the game 
is up an’ the stakes drawn from the treasurer. 

Enter Maxwell, r. 1 e., stops short and motions Mike to come. 
Mike takes a big horse pistol from under his coat , and hold¬ 
ing it behind himself, advances cautiously. 

Max. Are you sure every one has retired for the night ? 

Note —If nicely done, the imaginary game is sure to take well. The stage 
should always be in state of semi-darkness, when the audience will almost 
imagine they see the ball as it is caught and thrown by the players. Occasion¬ 
ally he should appear to miss the catch, when he will face the other way and 
catch it from there. A great many manoeuvres can be thought of by the actor if 
anything of a mimic. 


18 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mike. All but you and Oi ; a respectable Irishman and a 
villain. 

Max. Save your compliments for future use. I thought I 
saw the shadow of a man as I came up the path. 

Mike. That, sor, be the ghost av Henry Morgan, who war 
murthered in Neyorik three years ago. Me mashter war his 
brother, an’ ivery noite at twelve his ghost comes back an’ 
walks these premises jist as if he couldn’t shlape in his wathery 
! grave. 

Max. What do you know of his grave ? Were you there ? 

Mike. Not in the grave, no, sor ; but Oi war not afar off 
when he war murthered. 

Max. Bosh ! Henry Morgan suicided. 

Mike. How de ye know he suicided ? 

Max. How do you know he was murdered ? 

Mike. Because Oi saw him wid my two looking eyes. 

Max. I like a moderate liar, but you suit me too well. 
What have you behind you there ? 

Mike. A phistol. 

Max. What are you afraid of ? 

Mike. Nothing, sor ; but afther listenin’ to the murtherin’ 
plans av ye an’ that slipalpen on til the sthreet Oi wint 
home an’ got me gun, an’ av ye thry ony av yer tricks on me 
Oi’ll be aven wid ye, do ye moind ? 

Max (nervously). I don’t understand. When did you listen 
to me talking on the street ? 

Mike. Oh, me hearty, Oi’m on to yer toime, so vez bether 
drop the subject an’ come on til business. Phat de ye want 
av me, ony way ? 

Max. (aside). This is getting interesting. (To Mike.) What 
would you say if I should offer you two thousand dollars to 
put some one out of the way ? 

Mike (speaking slowly). Two thousand dollars to put some 
one out av the way ! Oi wad say ye are a blashted fool for 
makin’ av the offer, an’ Oi’d be- a dom fool av Oi axcepted it, 
an’ besides, thot depends who thot wan was, an’ av the two 
thousand war good or bogus. 

Max. The money is all right, and the victim is only a child. 

Mike. No, sir ; Oi don’t want the job. De ye take me fer a 
fool ? 

Max. You couldn’t make money faster. 

Mike. Yas, an’ git hung ! Phat in blazes wad Oi do wid 
two thousand dollars afther Oi was kilt entoirely ? Why don’t 
ye do the job yersilf an’ save the money to buy off jury men 
wid ? 

Max. I’ll go you five hundred better. 

Mike. Who is the child ? 

Max. Will you promise to keep this secret while you live ? 

Mike. Oi will that. 








THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


19 


Max. Swear. (Mike lifts up one hand.) Now, remem¬ 
ber, sir, if you ever dare even to give a hint of this to any 
^ one I’ll shoot you down like a dog. Do you understand ? 

Mike. Oi think Oi do. Yes, sor, Oi’ll be as dead as any 
itlicr dog av ye shoot me down. 

Max. Well, here is the long and short of it. I’ll give you 
twenty-five hundred dollars if you will effectually remove 
{pause) Bessie Morgan from the face of the earth. Your money 
is ready as soon as the work is done. 

Mike ( much surprised). Be the howly mither av St. Patrick, 
de ye take me fer a Hungarian donkey Bedad av this auld 
phistol war loaded Oi’d be afther pullin’ the thricker on ye. 

Max. I’ll make it even money—three thousand dollars. 

Mike. Three thousand dollars an’ ninety-nine years in jail ! 
Oh, no ; Oi’d rither be gineral roustabout fer Misther Morgan 
all me loife. 

Max. There is no need of its ever being known. Didn’t you 
ever do a mean job in your life ? 

Mike. Niver but once, when Oi thumped Tim O’Harrigan on 
the head wid a bit av a stune and tukhis gould watch that war 
given him by his uncle, Teddy Malony, on his mither’s soide; 
but de ye think Oi’d be afther confessing that same til the 
loiks av yersilf ? Not much, me hearty. 

Max. Well, don’t you see you can make enough at this job 
to buy a dozen gold watches and have a snug little fortune 
left? I’ll make it four thousand. Come, now, if that isn’t a 
liberal offer ; aud I’ll do all the planning besides. 

Mike. Four thousand dollars ! {Long pause.) Make it 
foive thousand an’ a quart av whiskey, an’ Oi’ll do the job. 

Max. Why the whiskey ? 

Mike. Why, Oi’ll drink the whiskey, an’ the whiskey will 
do the murther ; then Oi’ll be innocent ; don’t ye see ? 

Max. Yes, I seethe point. 

Mike. No pint about it, sor. It must be a quart. Then Oi’ll 
git full up til me neck, an’ av Oi’m caught the jury will say the 
mon war drunk an’ ain’t accountable fer the deed. 

Max. All right. Five thousand dollars and a quart of good 
whiskey. 

Mike. Oh, naw ; oh, naw, you can’t come that game on me. 

Max. {surprised). What game ? 

Mike. Oi don’t want ony av yer good whiskey. Oi want 
bad whiskey—forty-rod-bust-yer-head ; something wid two 
murthers an’ a dog foite in wan quart. 

Max. And that you shall have—the worst I can find. 
{Aside.) If I have to add arsenic myself. 

Mike. What may yer plans be ? 

Max. Just this. Now listen : The family are to have a 
basket picnic at the lake in a day or two, and of course you 
will drive one of the carriages. After lunch induce the child to 


20 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


go for a row out on the lake with you, and just before you go 
out on the water get her to drink a little wine. I will see that 
you are provided with an opiate powder, which you can drop 
in the wine unobserved ; then if she falls asleep and tumbles 
into the water, who is to blame ? Do you catch on ? 

Mike. Oi think Oi do ; yes, sor. 

Max. And you will carry out your part of the business 
without further advice ? 

Mike. When Oi know it’s sure about the cash. 

Max. ( giving money). Here is one thousand as an evidence 
of good faith, and when the job is completed I will pay the 
rest—four thousand more. 

Mike ( taking money). All roit.e, sor ; an’wad it be inter¬ 
ferin’ wid yer private affairs av Oi ask yez a question ? 

Max. What is it ? 

Mike. Phat in blazes de ye want to be rid av the lass fer ? 
Sure she’s a swate little body, an’ Oi don’t loike to be the thavin’ 
divil who ends her loife ; but bedad Oi must be kapin’ the wolf 
from the door in some way. 

Max. You have sworn to do this job and ask no questions. 
I couldn’t explain my motives anyway, but after the job is 
done I’ll tell you all about it. You had better go now. I’m 
going back to my hotel. 

Mike. All roite. Don’t forget the whiskey. {Goes to l. c., 
aside.) Oh, dear, dear, but that man is a villain ; so am Oi. 

Exits L. c. Maxwell goes to c. and holes out. Montgomery 
comes on at r. 1 e., crosses over and looks over Maxwell’s 
shoulder. Then both sit on rustic seat. 

Mont. Tom, I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake in using 
that fellow. He is liable to blow on us, and I’m afraid he 
will do a botch job and get us both into the soup. 

Max. You are too much of a matter-of-fact man, Mont¬ 
gomery. Just leave the business to me, and we’ll pull out all 
right. I’ve planned to dispose of the girl and the Irishman, 
too ; and if he squeals I am prepared to prove an alibi. He 
knows too much of the affairs for our safety. Do you know 
that rascal piped on us on the street and saw you show me the 
photograph and heard all of our conversation ? 

Mont. Great Scott ! Is that a fact ? 

Max. Yes ; and if my plans don’t fail he will dig his own 
grave. I paid him one thousand dollars to-night, and have 
promised to pay him four thousand more after his work is done ; 
but he won’t ever need the balance. 

Mont. But, Tom, where did you get the money ? I thought 
you were hard pushed. 

Max. I lifted it from Mr. Morgan’s safe about an hour ago. 

Mont. Stole it from Morgan’s safe ? 




THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


21 


Max. (laughing). Oh, no. Gentlemen never call it stealing. 

I only appropriated it. Morgan was careless and left his safe 
unlocked, and I took occasion to explore its contents in such a 
way that will cast a suspicion on Mike. 

Mont. Suppose Morgan should miss the money and insti- ' 
gate a search? 

Max. All the better. lie’ll find it in the Irishman’s posses¬ 
sion. Do you know where the fellow came from when he came 
here ? 

Mont. No ; but I can easily ascertain. I sujtpose the family 
must know. 

Max. I surmise it was from New York. If so, why not 
identify him as the man who was last seen in the boat with 
Henry Morgan ? 

Mont. Capital idea, Tom ; but how would that affect this 
case ? 

Max. Find out all you can of the fellow and report to me, 
and I’ll show you that it will affect this case. 

Mont. I wish we were well out of this intriguing life we are 
leading. Someway of late I can think of nothing but Lord 
Burton and our crime, and many times at this hour in fancy I 
can hear that peculiar step of his in my room and that feeble 
voice as he cried for mercy. 

Max. Don’t be a blasted fool, Frank. I wouldn’t flinch if 
his ghost should come and sit on my bedpost every night. 

Mont. ( coming to centre of stage). Hark ! What is that 
noise ? 

Max. ( joining him). That is only the soughing of the winds. 
Your nerves are at fault ; you had better retire at once. 

Mont. Sh ! ( points to back wall). Look, Tom, look ! 

Max. What is it, Frank ? I can see nothing. 

Mont. My God ! it’s Lord Burton ! {Drops on one knee and 
covers face. Maxwell staggers back and turns his face away as 
a scene is shown in the wall as per note .) 

Slow Curtain. 


Note. —To represent the vision best a large hole should be cut in the hack 
(set) wall at point marked T in diagram on front pages, and nicely covered with 
mosquito netting or some very open texture ; then painted like the rest of the 
wall, being careful not to fill the meshes too full of paint. When there is no 
light back of curtain the netting is not seen, but when the stage is dark and a 
light is used back of the wall, the netting and part of the wall seem to disappear, 
and whatever is immediately back of it shows plainly. To show the vision, let 
some one dress like an old gentleman in a night-robe, and stand just back of the 
net. Have an attendant on either side concealed by wall, and with each a strong 
lamp and reflector, which must be turned up suddenly when Montgomery gives 
the cr} r , “ My God! it’s Burton !” The whole force of the light should be directed 
toward the face and held so till curtain is down. If amateurs do not wish to go 
to the extra trouble, a section of the wall can be easily made to dropout, showing 
the vision the same. Red fire can be used to make the light if wished. The 
person in the vision must remain perfectly motionless while the light is on. It 
will heighten the effect if, during the tableau, a distant bell is heard to strike the 
hour of twelve. 


22 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


ACT II. 


SCENE I.— Parlor at the home of Robert Morgan. Sofa, 
r. c. Table and easy-chairs , l. c. Large folding-doors back 
easy-chair, c. Furniture to suit the effect. Morgan at table, 
reading paper. Mrs. Morgan in easy-chair , c. Bessie on 
sofa, looking at picture-book. 

Mrs. M. Robert, who is the gentleman who comes here so 
much of late ? 

Morg. You refer to Mr. Maxwell, I suppose ? 

Mrs. M. I believe you introduced him as Maxwell. What 
is his business ? 

Morg. He claims to be an extensive cattle ranchman from 
Texas. He was once a resident of New York and a great 
friend of brother Henry’s—was there at the time of brother’s 
disappearance, I believe. He was in the city, and hearing of 
me, he came out to make a call and some inquiries, and as he 
has the appearance of being a gentleman, I have invited him to 
call often during his stay. 

Mrs. M. Appearances are deceiving sometimes. I can’t say 
that I like his looks. 

Morg. That’s not to be wondered at. Ranchmen, as a 
rule, have uncouth and rough exteriors, but many have true, 
honest hearts, worthy of respect. 

Enter Edna and Montgomery, c. 

Edna. Excuse us. Will we intrude ? 

Mrs. M. (laughing). Oh, no, indeed. Your father was 
just delivering one of his moral sermons. (Edna sits on the 
sofa , Montgomery sits near table , Morgan lays aside paper and 
removes glasses.) 

Morg. I’m very glad you came, Mr. Montgomery. I’ve 
something I wish to show you. ( Takes photograph from pocket 
and hands to Montgomery.) Did you ever see that person ? 

Mont, (after pause). No, sir, I never did. 

Morg. Did you ever see the picture before ? 

Mont, (handing it back). No, sir. Why do you ask ? 

Morg. I thought by this inscription you might be a friend 
of the party. (Reach aloud from back of photograph.) Pre¬ 
sented to my old friend, Frank Montgomery, 38 Pearl Street, 
New York, by Fred Durand. 








THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


23 


Mont. ( very uneasy). Let me look at that again, please, 
f Takes photograph and loohs at it for some time, then hands it back.) 
Well, that is the most remarkable circumstance I ever saw. 
The name and even my street and number is correct, but I am 
positive I never saw either the picture or person it represents. 

Mrs. M. May I see it, Robert ? Bessie, get the picture for 
auntie, will you ? 

Bessie ( looking at the picture as she brings it). Why, auntie, 
I saw that photograph in Mr. Montgomery’s album when he 
lived at our home. 

Edna {quickly). Hush, Bessie ! Come here. {She comes.) Do 
you wish to go with us to the lake to-morrow ? 

Bessie {clasping her hands). Oh, my, yes ! Can I go ? 

Edna. I think so if the day is pleasant. 

Enter Pete, c. 

Pete. Massa Montgomery, you hosses am ready fo’ de ride. 
Edna. Frank, I beg you will excuse me from riding this 
time, it’s so very warm. 

Mont. Certainly, Miss Edna. I’m not in the least particular. 
Pete, you may stable the horses again. 

Pete. Yes, sail ! 

Morg. Pete, harness the horses to the carriage and drive to 
the north porch. 

Pete. Shall I clribe, sah ? 

Morg. Yes. 

Pete. All right, sah. I’ll hab ’em right dar. [Exit c. 

Morg. {rising). Mrs. Morgan, will you accompany me for a 
drive ? Let Bessie come, too. 

Bessie. Oh, goody ! I’ll get my wraps. [Exits l. u. e. 

Mrs. Morgan rises , whispers something in Edna’s ear, and exits 
l. u. e. At same time Montgomery comes down l., speaking 
back to Morgan. 

Mont. Just a word before you go, Mr. Morgan. (Morgan 
comes down.) There are some circumstances connected with 
that photograph which compelled me to answer in the negative. 
I know more than I could admit before others. Walls have 
ears, you know. I will see you later and explain. 

Morg. I was sure there was something wrong somewhere. 
I ought not to have mentioned it till I could see you alone. 
Will you see me in my library this evening ? 

Mont. Yes, and explain all. 

Morg. I hope you will excuse our absence for a time ? 
Mont. Oh, certainly ; enjoy life while you can. 

Bessie ( from outside calls). Uncle Robert, the carriage is 
coming. 

Morg. Ail right, my dear. [Exits l. u. e. 


24 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mont, {sitting in easy chair, c.). Miss Edna, I presume you 
are not a little surprised at what you have just listened to. 

Edna. Frank, I was not only surprised, hut I was never more 
mortified. Can you account for this terrible state of affairs ? 
and did papa tell you how he came by that photograph ? 

Mont. No, he did not. Will you tell me ? 

Edna. I prefer not to tell. 

Mont. Edna, believe me, I had no intention of deceiving 
any of you. When I denied having any knowledge of the mat¬ 
ter, circumstances over which I had no control prevented my 
answering differently. 

Edna. The circumstances must be very peculiar that will 
cause a man to tell a deliberate falsehood without a blush of 
shame. 

Mont. I beg you won’t judge me too harshly till I have ex¬ 
plained. 

Edna. Pardon me if I seem hasty. I will listen to you now. 

Mont. Very well. Before explaining, however, I must ask 
you a few questions in order that you may better understand 
what is to follow. (Mike appears at c., unobserved.) In the 
first place, who is this Irish servant ? 

Mike. Oi am an Irishman, sor. I war born among the 
grane boggs av auld Ireland, but Oi inoight av been born in 
Amerika av Oi’d been a moind to. {To Edna.) Av ye pleaze, 
miss, me lady would loike to spake till ye at the kerridge door, 
an’ she axed w T ad the gintleman axcuse ye fer a minnit. 

Edna {going c.). I will return soon. [ Exit c. 

Mont, to Mike. How exceedingly polite you are, Mickey. 

Mike. Oi know me place, sor. I always show respect to a 
lady or gintleman, or a villain in the guise of a gintleman. 

Mont, {rising angrily). Does that insult apply to me, sir ? 

Mike (bowing). Ye are the bist judge, sor. [ Exit c. 

Enter Maxwell, r. u. e. ; crosses quickly over to Montgomery. 

Max. There are breakers ahead, Frank. There’s a spotter 
in town. I think it’s one of Pinkerton’s men. I was at the 
station when he came on the train and heard him ask the agent 
the way to Robert Morgan’s house ; then I followed him to the 
hotel and heard him order a livery team to be ready as soon as 
he can lunch. So I took occasion to skip up here ahead of 
him. 

Mont. What can we do—skip out ? 

Max. Skip nothing, old boy ; we can play our cards just as 
fine as he can. Where is Mr. Morgan ? . 

Mont. Mr. and Mrs. Morgan and the little girl have gone 
for an afternoon drive. The young lady is home, and I expect 
her here any minute. 

Max. Can you get her for a walk ? If so, I can manage the 
detective. 











THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


25 


Mont. But say, Tom, I’ve got my foot into it again. That 
photograph of my friend, which I substituted for the one in the 
package, had some writing on the back which gives me dead 
away. 

Max. Well, if I ever in my life saw such a wooden-headed 
man as you are. 

Mont. Yes, fool that I was, I never looked to see that the 
back was all right. 

Max. There’s no use to cry now ; get out of it as best you 
can, and when you find it’s no go we will skip the country ; but 
you may bet we’ll do that Irishman before we leave. 

Mont. Well, Tom. you had better leave, or Miss Edna will 
find you here. I will do the best I can, though I’m afraid I’ll 
sink us both. 

Max. I’ll go back to the conservatory where I came in, and 
after you and the gal are gone I’ll come back. 

Mont. And be discovered by that Irishman ? 

Max. Leave that to me. [Exits, r.u.e. 

Enter Edna, c. 

Mont, {aside). Well, there’s another hair’s-breadth escape. 
By Jove! it’s a wonder she didn’t see Tom. {To Edna.) You 
were called away rather abruptly. Do you never tire of that 
blundering Irishman ? 

Edna. We, of course, would prefer him to be more decorous ; 
otherwise he is all right and trustworthy. 

Mont. You will be surprised when I tell you that he is con¬ 
nected with that photograph mystery of this evening. 

Edna. Well, really, in these days I am not surprised at any¬ 
thing ; but I am ready to listen to whatever you may have to 
say on the subject. 

Mont. Would you like to stroll out in the park while rve 
talk ? I am suffering from a severe headache this afternoon. 

Edna. You have my sympathy ; suppose we go to the con¬ 
servatory ; it’s always pleasant and cool in there at this time. 

Mont, {nervously). I would prefer to go in the park if it 
will cause you no inconvenience. I don’t wish to appear selfish 
in the matter. 

Edna. Oh, no inconvenience, I assure you. {Looks out at c.) 
Here comes Mike ; he will remain here until our return. {Enter 
Mike, c.) Michael, we are going out for a short time. Will you 
remain here till our return ? 

Mike. So Oi will, Miss Edna. {Sits in easy-chair, c.) 

Mont, {aside). Well, there is another obstacle to surmount. 

Edna. Frank, I’ll get my hat and meet you at the gate. 

• [Exit, L.U.E. 

Mont, (to Edna). Very well; I will be there. (7b Mike.) 
After we are out, if you will steal away and go for my mail I’ll 
pay you well for it. 



26 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mike. All roiglit, sor ; onything for a quarther. 

Mont. Don’t forget to go soon. [Exits, c. 

Mike, {looking after him). Well, phat in the name av St. 
Pathrick Missus Edna can see thot’s noice about that deacivin’ 
varmint, Oi don’t know. (Maxwell enters softly, and stands 
behind Mike’s chair.) It do seem as avauld Nick war let loose, 
an’ a-makin’ this place his headquarthers. Oi can always tell 
when the divil be close by me. Oi can fale it in me inara- 
bones. 

Max. {slapping him on shoulder). It’s a wise child that knows 
its own father. 

Mike, {springing up). Oh, dear, dear, dear ; Oi thought Oi 
war kilt intoirely. Where the divil did the loikes av ye come, 
from ? 

Max. Never mind where I came from ; I want to use you, 
and there is no time to be lost. A man will be here soon to see 
your master. You are to show him in, and tell him I am Mr. 
Morgan. 

Mike. Tell him you are Misther Morgan ? 

Max. Certainly. 

Mike. Then Oi’d be telliu’ a loie ; for Misther Morgan be a 
dacent mon. 

Max. Will you do my bidding ? 

Mike. Suppose it war Misther Morgan himself ; bedad, and 
he’d be afther discharging me away widout ony warnin’. Oi 
don’t know. 

Max. The fellow is a dude who is coming from town to 
see Mr. Morgan, and as he is away, I will do the business in his 
name ; do you understand ? 

Mike. Yes, sor ; the fellow is a dude. The dude will come 
from town to talk wid Misther Morgan. Misther Morgan is out, 
so you will talk wid the dude. 

Max. Exactly. 

Mike. Now, Oi’m to bring the dude intill the house an’ say, 
This be Misther Morgan. 

Max. That’s right. 

Mike. Now you are Misther Morgan, me mastlier. 

Max. Yes, yes, yes ! 

Mike. All roiglit, sor ; pay me lasht month’s wages. 

Max. Oh, no ; my authority don’t extend that far. 

Mike, {sitting). All roight for yez ; Oi woirk for the mon 
that pays me wages. 

Max. Thunder ! How much do you want ? 

Mike. Twenty, sor. 

Max. {giving money). Here’s your cash ; now get 3murself to 
the front door. • 

Mike, {going, c.). Yas, sor. {Aside.) Drop a nickle in the 
slot and see the Irishman move. [ Exits c. 

Max. {going c. and looking after him). I’ve been in many a 




THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


27 


hard racket and come out all right, but deni my buttons if this 
job don’t begin to smell of sulphur. ( Looks out c. and calls.) 
Here, you young ape over there, what are you doing ? Come 
in here. (Ephreham enters , c.) What were you doing with 
that rustic seat ? 

Eph. Nuffin. 

Max. What do you call nothing ? 

Epii. I war jest drivin’ some pins in dar. 

Max. You were fixing pins for some one to sit on, eh? You 
call that nothing ? 

Eph. My ole dad sets dar when he smokes, an’ I jes’ want ter 
git eben wid him, ’cause he gib me de gad dis mawnin’. 

Max. So you were laying a trap to bring your old father to 
grief, eh ? Has he any more such interesting cubs as you are ? 

Epii. I ain’t no cub. 

Max. Do you want to earn a dime? 

Eph. How much am dat ? 

Max. Why, ten cents. 

Eph. Dat’s accordin’ how hard de work am. 

M ax. Go down by the big gate, and when you see your 
master coming, run here and tell me, and I’ll give you ten 
cents. 

Epii. Yas, sar ; I’ll make bettah time dan dad’s mule. 

[Exits, c., quickly. 

Mike. ( heard outside). Here, ye little black divil, phat are ye 
up till now ? Ave ye don’t kape off these premises, Oi’ll give ye 
the raps of Darby. 

Enter Mike and Burk, the detective. 

Mike, (making alow how). Avye plase, Misther Morgan, here 
be a gintleman to see yez. 

Burk. I suppose this is Robert Morgan? 

Max. Yes, sir. (Pointing to a seat and sitting himself.) To 
whom am I indebted for this call ? 

Burk ( giving card). I am sent here by our agency to inter¬ 
view you relative to your brother’s death, also the murder of 
Lord Burton at his house. Did you receive the photograph we 
sent ? 

Max. I did ; yes, sir. It resembles no one I have ever met. 

Burk. Do you know the whereabouts of one Frank Mont¬ 
gomery, once your brother’s secretary ? 

Max. No, sir, I do not. You certainly do not suspect him ? 

Burk. Not directly ; no, sir ; but he was seen in company 
with the man whom we believe to be principal in the crime. 

Max. Do you know his name ? 

Burk. He goes by the name of Maxwell, though that is 
probably only a nom cle plume. 

Max. (nervously). I think I may be able to assist you in lo- 


2S 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


eating both of them. I will get my hat and coat and accom¬ 
pany you to the city, where I will give you some clews. 

[Exits, L.U.E. 

Burk ( looking after him and taking a photo from his pocket). 
By Jove! I’ll bet ten to one that this is a picture of Morgan, in¬ 
stead of Maxwell. I’ll just lay low and look into this matter a 
little. I guess, Mr. Man, if you will glance into a mirror you 
will see the fellow I want. 

Mike. ( heard outside). Howly Moses, Gineral Jackson, and 
all the rist av the great men ! Show me the mon phat wants 
to foit me. [Rushes in, c. 

Burk. Why, fellow, what’s the matter of you ? 

Mike. Matther is it, bedad ! Oi’m kilt entoirely. O’isitme- 
silf down on the blashted sate out there, an’ be the mither av 
St. Pathrick Oi got struck wid loitnen. Tell Misther Max¬ 
well Oi’m gone fer the doctor. [ Starts to exit, c. 

Burk. Hold on ; you said, Tell Maxwell. Who is Maxwell ? 

Mike. Why, the mon ye were talkin’ wid. Oh, dear, dear, 
dear, Oi don't mane Maxwell, at all, at all ; Oi mane Morgan ! 
Ye see, misther, when Morgan be out, Maxwell be in. [Exits, c. 

Burk. Well, I guess this is my lucky day. 

Epii. (runs in c., bawling loudly). Har dey am, boss ! har.dey 
am ! (To Burk.) Whar am dat oder fellah ? 

Burk. What are you croaking about ? Who do you want ? 

Enter Maxwell, l.u.e. 

Max. What is the matter there, boy ? 

Epii. Massa Morgan am cornin’, an’ I w r ant dat ten centses. 

Max. (angrily). Get out of here, or I’ll break your neck. 
(To Burk.) For reasons which I will explain later, I w r ould not 
wish you to be seen here, so if agreeable, we will go by the 
back way. [Both exit, r.u.e. 

Epii. (runs after them , loudly bawling). Har, you white man, 
I want dat ten centses ! 

Enter Montgomery and Edna. She sits in easy-chair, c. 

Edna. Frank, did you know the gentleman with Mr. Max¬ 
well ? He seemed to know you. 

Mont. I have no recollection of ever seeing him before— 
some speculator friend of Maxwell’s, I presume; but to return to 
the subject. I expect to return to New York to-morrow, and 
would really like an answer before I go. 

Edna. Frank, I do not wish to doubt your word or believe 
you anything but a true, honest man ; but your explanation con¬ 
cerning that photograph affair is not quite clear in my mind, 
and if it were I could answer only in the negative at this time, 
for I could not give my hand where the heart is not. 

Mont. I am not surprised ; I presume your heart is still with 
that New York dude, Jim Perrin. 





THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


29 


Edna. You are very complimentary, to say the least. Do 
you think to win your suit by such sarcasm ? 

Mont. Beg pardon ; I ought not to speak so disparagingly 
of your friend ; but truly, I never think of that man without a 
feeling of contempt. 

Edna. And why contempt, pray ? Did Mr. Perrin ever do 
you an injustice ? 

Mont, (angrily). Yes ; an injury I can never forget or par¬ 
don. Isn’t it a fact that he came between us three years ago, 
and with soft speeches and oily tongue led you to believe I was 
a villain and himself an aimel ? 

Edna. For shame, Frank ! Mr. Perrin never spoke aught of 
you in my presence during our acquaintance. 

Mont. I will think twice before I believe that. 

Edna (rising). Mr. Montgomery, you had better think twice 
before you insinuate that I am telling an untruth; and let me 
tell you, if you care for my respect you will drop this subject 
at once. 

Mont. Edna, three years ago I first met you at your uncle’s 
home. I fell desperately—yes, madly in love with you, and I had 
every reason to believe that my love was returned until young 
Perrin came. Then you grew cold and indifferent to me and 
deeply interested in my rival, who after completely captivab 
ing your heart ran away with pretty Rose Morton. 

Edna. Stop, sir ; you have abused me, and I have borne it 
in silence ; but I will not allow you to insult an absent friend 
in my presence. Mr. Perrin was a gentleman ; I wish I could 
say the same of you. 

Mont. Rose Morton thought him a gentleman till he de¬ 
serted her for still another. 

Edna (angrily). There’s the door, sir ! Will you be kind 
enough to leave this room ? 

Mont. When I am through talking to you I will go, but no 
sooner ; and let me predict that when I am done you will beg 
me to stay. I have tried all fair means to win your hand, and 
you have spurned my every advance. Now hear me ; at the end 
of next month you will be Lady Montgomery. (She turns 
away.) Come, now ; there is no use to fight the inevitable. My 
plans are laid, and in my vocabulary there is no such word as 
fail. 

Edna ( indignant ). Leave this house, sir, or I will call for 
help. 

Mont. Yes, I’ll go now, but I must have a parting kiss to 
remind me of this pleasant interview. (She starts to leave , c. 
Montgomery seizes her arm ai\d undertakes to stead a kiss. She 
screams. Mike comes quickly on at c., followed by Morgan, Mrs. 
Morgan ancl Bessie. Mike catches Montgomery by throat. 
Edna goes into her mother's arms. Form picture as the curtain 
falls.) 



30 


TIIE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


ACT III. 


SCENE.— Parle or wood scene , showing hay or lake at hack ; boats 
sailing , etc.; children playing different games ; Bessie discov¬ 
ered in hammock or swing , l. u. e., Miggie swinging her ; 
Mrs. Morgan in camp chair , r. u. e., looking off on hay with 
opera-glasses (or the act may open with several children swing¬ 
ing in a circle and singing , hut should leave the stage after a 
chorus of laughter). 

Maxwell and Edna discovered sitting on rustic seat , r. 1 e. As 
curtain rises a chorus of laughter is heard , in which every one 
should join. 

Mrs. M. (to Miggie). Please not swing her too hard, Mig¬ 
gie ; she might fall. [ Exits , r.u.e. 

Bessie. That’s enough, Miggie ; now let me swing you 
(Business of swinging or play big games may proceed, hut care must 
he taken that there he no noise to interrupt those who are speaking , 
and all should keep to the hack part of the stage.) 

Max. Miss Morgan, I do not uphold Mr. Montgomery for 
his actions last evening, and you are justified in feeling in¬ 
dignant ; yet as a friend of Frank’s, I beg you to reconsider the 
matter, and give the lad a chance to speak in his own defense. 

Edna. Mr. Maxwell, further words are useless ; he has sacri¬ 
ficed my friendship. I had supposed Mr. Montgomery to be a 
gentleman, but his conduct yesterday proves him quite the re¬ 
verse. 

Max. But suppose, Miss Morgan, I should tell you something 
that would cause you to reverse your decision and thank me 
for the information. 

Edna. That would be impossible. 

Max. It may seem impossible to you ; nevertheless, it is no 
idle boast, my dear young lady. 

Edna. Will you be kind enough to explain yourself ? 

Max. Only on condition that you will receive the knowl¬ 
edge quietly, as a scene would cause a commotion, to the detri¬ 
ment of your family. 

Edna (rising). Sir, if you have anything of importance to 
say, I will listen ; if not, you will excuse me. 

Max (rising). Suppose I tell you that every dollar your 
father is worth is at the mercy of the man you despise. 

Edna (in astonishment). What! 

Max. Is that a matter of importance to you ? (Aside.) Guess 
I scored a point that time. 

Edna. Where is your proof ? 

Max. Do you demand it ? 

Edna. I do. 





THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


31 


Max. Then listen. Four years ago your late uncle, Henry 
Morgan, went into a heavy speculation, which compelled him 
to give security for fifty thousand dollars, and your father went 
on the bond for that amount. After your uncle’s death your 
father became liable for the debt. I held the security, and 
would have pushed the matter long ago, only for the interfer¬ 
ence of my young friend, Frank Montgomery. For reasons of 
our own, I esteem him as a brother, and when he pleaded with me 
to spare your father this dreadful blow, on the ground that you 
would soon be his wife, I promised that the day you were wed 
to him I would convey to him all right and title to the claim. 
Now does it look as if there was cause for reconsideration ? 

Edna. Have you any tangible proof of all this ? 

Max. I have. Go ask your venerable sire if he ever signed 
such a security, and ask him if to his certain knowledge it 
was ever released. 

Edna. Sir, if what you tell me is the truth, God knows 
what the result will be ; I can never be the wife of Frank 
Montgomery. 

Max. Stick to it, young lady; it’s all the better for me if 
you don't marry him. 

Edna. It seems very strange that father never mentioned 
this to us. 

Max. Your father, no doubt, thinks the matter was settled 
by his brother long before his death ; you had better see him 
and ask him about it; but if you regard his feelings don’t tell 
him a word till you have given the matter more serious thought ; 
it will be a hard blow for the old gentleman. I’m going for a 
stroll now. I trust I’ve made matters plain, and shall expect 
to see you later. [Raises his hat, exits , r. 1 e. 

Edna ( supporting herself against rustic seat). Oh, have I 
merited all this, and can I suffer this agony of suspense alone ! 
Why did I ever speak to that man! (Starts to leave, r. u. e., 
and meets Mrs. Morgan entering.) 

Mrs. M. Why, my child, what is the matter ? Are you ill ? 

Edna (putting her arms around her mother's neck). ’Tis noth¬ 
ing of any consequence, mother. Can we return home soon ? 

Mrs. M. Why certainly, child, if you are not well. Can’t 
you explain to mother what is the trouble ? 

Edna. Please do not ask me, mother. We will walk on 
the beach; perhaps I will feel better. 

Bessie (in hammock). Oh auntie, here comes Pete with the 
lunch ! Can’t we have dinner now ? 

Mrs. M. We will return directly, my dear. 

[Exits with Edna, r. 1 e. 

Pete ( heard outside , r.). AVhoa dar, Lemuel, whoa dar! 
Doan you go for to git on your high heel boots kaze ye come 
to de white folks-’ picnic. Back dar, Lemuel, back, sail! ( Mule 
heard kicking outside. Some splinters should he thrown on stage 


32 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


from Tt. , as if it were from the dash-board.) Whoa dar, mule! 
Now look what you do. You done gone broke de cart. How 
you spoze we gwan to tote de taters wid de dash-boad all 
kicked out ? (Pete brings in a large box, which he juices in centre 
of stage ; also basket of wine bottles.) Dar, chiln, amyouahdin- 
nah. Ole Dinah say dem am de bestest fried chickens she done 
make fo’ de las' yeah. Help youself, chiln, help youself, an 1 
ef dar am any lef’ doan forget de ole man. 

Miggie. All right, Pete; we will save you a nice lunch. 

Pete. Dat’s right, honey; dat’s right. Pze gittin’ pow’ful 
hungry. 

Bessie. Pete, you may have the wish-bone if you like. 

Pete. Yah! Yah! All right, honey; doan forget to lof 
some of de chicken hang to de bone. (Exit, r. Business of 
driving away heard.) Glang now, Lemuel! By golly, yo’ doan 
git no dinnah fo’ whole week! I have to sell de corn to mend 
de dash-boad. Go on now, Lemuel! 

Bessie (climbing out of the hammock). Come, Miggie, let’s see 
what Aunt Dinah has sent us. I’m awful hungry; aren’t you ? 

Miggif. Yes; I’m always hungry when I come to a pic¬ 
nic. 

Enter Mike, l. c. 

Mike. So am Oi. Oi’m that hungry Oi cud ate a cold 
baked petata av it war bilt wid the palin’s on. (Calling off, r.) 
Oh, ho, over there! Lave that game of croka alone till ye come 
an’ ate yer lunch. 

Bessie. Say, Mr. Mike, you promised to take Miggie and I 
for a row on the lake. Have you forgotten it? 

Mike. Oh, no, me lass; Oi didn’t forgot it. Oi’ve a noice 
little row-boat that will just hold yersilf an’ me. So afther 
lunch we’ll be afther talcin’ aroide, and when we are back Oi’ll 
take Miggie for a roide. De ye see ? 

Bessie. Oh, my, won’t the boat carry Miggie and I, too ? 
It would be so nice to have her with me. 

Miggie. I don’t care to go, Bessie; I never like riding on 
the water. 

Bessie. Oh, I do, ever so much! 

Enter Mrs. Morgan and Edna, r. c. 

Mrs. M. Michael, why haven’t you unpacked the lunch ? 
You may go and tell those gentlemen to leave their game till 
after dinner. 

Mike (going, r.). Yes, mom. Oi’ll tell the lads to come 
right away directly, if not sooner. [Exits. 

Miggie. Mrs. Morgan, shall I unpack the dinner ? 

Mrs. M. Yes, Miggie; I’ll assist you. (liaises lid of box, and 
\ all scream loudly. Mrs. Morgan drops lid, and sits on rustic seat 
exhausted. The gents all rush on at r. with croquet mallets .) 








THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


33 


Morg. What is the matter, Mrs. Morgan ? {She points to 
box.) Where, what is it ? I don’t see anything. (I'lce cover 
of box raises slowly ; ladies all scream again. Ephreiiam puts 
his head out of box, wearing broad grin.) (See Note.) 

Mike. Well, phat koind av a lunch de ye call thot, onyway ? 
Come outen thot, ye baythen nayger. 

Morg. What does this mean, you young rascal ? 

Eph. Daddy say dis chile can’t come to de white folk’s pic¬ 
nic, so I stealed a ride; dat’s all. 

Morg. Where is our dinner ? 

Eph. {climbingout). ’Spect it’s home; I toted it inter de 
woodshed while daddy go fo’ de mule. 

All. In the woodshed! {Laughter) 

Enter Pete, r. 

Morg. Pete, you old reprobate, why don’t you thrash 
that young rascal ? 

Pete {surprised). Whar did you come from, you young fool 
niggah ? 

Morg. You brought him here in that lunch box. 

Pete ( looking in box). ’Tain’t no use, Mars Morgan, ’tain’tno 
use. Dat chile am boun’ to bring his ole fadder down to de 
grave befo his time. ( To Ephreiiam.) What foa you do dat, 
Ephreham ? By golly, I tought dat dinnah tote mighty heavy! 

Bessie {pointing to Ephreham). Pete, there’s your wish¬ 
bone. 

Pete. I wish dat fool niggah nebber was born. (Ephre¬ 
ham climbs in hammock and proceeds to blow mouth organ.) 

Morg. Pete, you may as well take the box and that cub of 
yours and go home. 

Pete. Yes, sah. {Takes up box and exits , r., followed by 
Ephreham playing mouth organ.) 

Max. I ordered some excellent wine sent out, and as it seems 
to be here all right, we’ll substitute it for the lost dinner. 
{Opens bottles and fills glasses , lohich he hands to all but Bessie.) 

Morg. This is a rough joke on us. However, I see no way 
but to make the best of it. 

Mike. When Dinah sends another nayger for our lunch Oi 
hope she’ll ’ave him well roasted. Oi don’t like raw naygers. 
{Laughter) 

Bessie. Mike, am I to be cheated out of my ride on the lake ? 

Mike. Oh no, me dear? ye’ll have a foine ride on the 
wather. {Takes glass of wine from Maxwell, puts small powder 
in it unobserved , puts paper in his vest pocket , hands glass to 
Bessie.) Plere, me lass, take a sip o’ the wine fer yer stomach 
sake. 

Bessie. Oh, no, thank you; I never take wine. 

Mike. Ye’ll be awful hungry afore ye get home, me lass, 
so yez betther take a drop to brace yez up a bit. 


34 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Mrs. M. Drink just a little, Bessie; it won’t hurt you. (Bes¬ 
sie takes glass.) 

Mike (taking glass). Tliot's roight, me lass. Here’s to the 
lunch thot’s home in the woodshed. 

Max. I’ll amend that toast. 

Here’s to the lunch that’s home in the woodshed, 

Likewise the darkey who came in its place; 

Here’s hoping that if ever he should repeat that trick on us, 

He’ll get kicked by the mule right square in the face. 

(All laugh and drink.) [Max exits, l. c. 

Mike. Now, Bessie, me lass, here goes for a roide on the 
wather. 

Mrs. M. Bessie, you had better get your wraps as you pass 
the carriage; the air will be very cool on the water. 

Bessie. Yes, ma’am. 

Mrs. M. ( kissing Bessie). Mike, will you be very careful 
that nothing befalls her ? 

Mike. Tliot I will, mom. Come, me lass. 

[Exit Bessie and Mike, r. 

Morg. Well, gentlemen, we may as well finish our game, if 
we are to have no dinner. Ladies, will you join us ? 

Mrs. M. I think, if you will excuse us, we will go to the 
beach. 

Edna. Papa, may I speak with you alone ? (To Mrs. Mor¬ 
gan.) Mother, I will join you and Miggie on the beach di¬ 
rectly. 

Mrs. M. Very well, my dear. Come, Miggie, w r e will walk 
on. [Mrs. Morgan and Miggie exit , r. 

Morg. Well, daughter, what is it ? 

Edna (sitting on rustic bench). Come and sit by me, will 
you ? (He sits.) Papa, I hope you won’t think me inquisitive 
or meddling with what doesn’t concern me. I wish to ask you 
a question, but first I must request you not to ask my motives; 
I will tell you later. 

Morg. You are speaking in riddles, daughter. What is 
this you wish to know ? 

Edna. Papa, did you ever sign a bond of security for any 
considerable amount with Uncle Henry ? 

Morg. Yes; for a large sum, but he redeemed our pledge 
long before his death. 

Edna. Have you any positive proof of that ? 

Morg. I have your uncle’s? word for it, and feel as satisfied 
as if I had been present at the transaction. I think Mr. Mont¬ 
gomery also knows it to be a fact. 

Edna. Papa, I fear some one has made a grave mistake. 
Will you find Mr. Montgomery at once, and ascertain his 
knowledge in the matter? (Montgomery enters , r. u. e., in 
time to hear last.) 




THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


35 


Morg. I wish you would explain yourself. Has any one 
intimated that I am involved ? 

Mont, {(soming forward) . Beg pardon, Mr. Morgan. {Raises 
hat to Edna.) Have you any positive knowledge that your 
brother settled that matter ? 

Morg. I have my brother’s word. 

Mont. Nothing but his word ? 

Morg. {starting up). Sir, would you dare intimate that 
Henry Morgan was dishonest ? 

Mont. I dare intimate, sir , that the claim was never liquidated, 
notwithstanding what your brother may have told you to the 
contrary. As his confidential clerk I claim to know the facts. 

Morg. My God, man, if this be true I am ruined! Mont¬ 
gomery, this thing is utterly impossible. Why haven’t the 
claims been presented ? 

Mont. Because a friend has interested himself in your be¬ 
half and postponed matters. 

Morg. What friend, pray tell me, is so much interested in 
my behalf ? 

Mont. Mr. Morgan, when I can see you alone I will tell you 
more, but not now. {Starts to leave , l. c.) 

Morg. Stay; I must know at once. {To Edna.) Daugh¬ 
ter, pray leave us ( Confidential , as she is leaving.) Don’t let 
this matter dishearten you; I am sure there is some mistake. 
{She exits , r. To Montgomery.) Now, who is my friend ? 

Mont, {with mock politeness). Your humble servant. Now 
listen to what you w r ould never have known had not that mis¬ 
understanding come up last eve. You must have known that 
for a long time I have been deeply interested in your daughter, 
and I had formed the erroneous idea that she would consent to 
become Lady Montgomery. Our unpleasant interview last 
evening proved to the contrary. 

Morg. Well, what does all this signify ? 

Mont. It signifies, sir, that in consequence of her refusal, 
you are left to meet the obligation, which would otherwise 
have been averted. You doubt my assertions. Well, here are 
the cold facts in the case. That obligation is held by a dear 
friend of mine. He purchased it from the bank with whom 
your brother did business. 

Morg. Mr. Montgomery, you need go into no further de¬ 
tail ; it’s too thin to wash. 

Enter Maxwell, l. c. 

Max. Excuse me, gentlemen; I have overheard a part of 
your conversation, and will venture a little of the proof you 
wish. {Takes papers fram pocket and shows to Morgan.) Can 
you deny those signatures ? 

Morg. {staggering back). Oh, heaven, it’s too true! 

Max. Now I will finish what my friend here has tried to ex- 


36 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


plain to you. These bonds I purchased, as he stated, and I 
intended to have collected the amount some time ago, but 
Frank begged me to wait on the ground of his marriage with 
your daughter. I told him that the day Miss Edna was his 
wife I would present him with these papers. There’s the busi¬ 
ness in a nutshell, and what you may say or think will not 
change matters one particle. 

Morg. {wiping the sweat from his forehead). Gentlemen, I 
am an old man. I have worked hard to secure a little fortune 
and a home for my loved ones. I am what the world calls in 
good circumstances, yet this matter will leave me nearly pen¬ 
niless. I have nothing to do with my daughter’s choice of a 
husband ; if she gives her consent you have mine. If she de¬ 
clines your offer, I’ll work these fingers to the bone ere she 
shall come to want. This is a hard blow, sir, but of little 
consequence compared with seeing your own child wedded for 
paltry gain. 

Max. Mr. Morgan, you are made of the right metal, and 
I’m going to do the square thing by you ; there’s no use to 
say more to the girl. I’m in no great hurry for the money—at 
least, all of it. You can pay me a part now, and take as much 
time as you like for paying the balance. Of course, you 
wouldn’t mind giving security on your home ? 

Morg. You are generous, sir. This matter has completely 
unmanned me, but there is no use to fight against the inevi¬ 
table. Give me a few days, and I will see what can be done. 
I think I can make a small payment at once, as I have some 
money by me. 

Max. Let me suggest, Mr. Morgan, that if you allow that 
Irish servant to carry the keys to your safe, you will never be 
troubled with the surplus, unless he is more honest than I 
believe him to be. 

Morg. Michael has nothing to do with my financial matters 
or the keys to my safe. 

Max. Then he has deceived you, sir, for I saw him ex¬ 
ploring the contents of your safe only a few evenings since. 

Morg. Impossible, sir. Where were you ? 

Max. I saw him enter your library in what appeared to me 
to be a stealthy manner, so I w r ent outside and peeped in 
through the blinds, and saw him just closing the safe door ; 
but supposing you had sent him there, I said nothing. Later 
I saw him counting over a roll of bills, by himself, at the 
stables. 

Morg. Gentlemen, I am astonished ; I supposed the fellow 
to be perfectly honest. I will investigate at once. 

Enter Miggie, r., in great hurry. 

Miggie. Oh, Mr. Morgan! come quick. We are afraid 
something has happened to Bessie. Mike has come back with¬ 
out her. [Exits, n. 






THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


37 


Morg. {starts to go and meets Mike, l. u. e., feigning drunk; 
lie grasps Mike by the throat). See here, you dirty villain, 
where is the child ? 

Mike. Let go av me throat av ye want me to talk! De ye 
think Oi ken spake whin Oi'm throttled up loike a jug ? 

Morg. Didn’t Bessie go on the lake with you ? 

Mike. Oi don’t know, sor; Oi think she did. 

Morg. Then where is she ? 

Mike. Oi don’t know, sor. 

Morg. ( shaking him). For God’s sake, man, don’t drive me 
mad ! Tell me, what has become of Bessie ? 

Mike. Bedad, Oi told you ! Oi don’t know. 

Max. {drawing pistol). See here, you Irish devil! if you 
don’t explain, we’ll give you a taste of Texas law. 

Mike. How in the name av St. Patherick ken Oi explain, 
whin ye all kape ycr jaws a-goin’ ? The choild wint out on 
the wather wid me fer a bit av a roide, an’ whin Oi come back 
the lass war not in the boat. So Oi says to mesilf, says Oi, 
“Moike, the lass must av got out to walk on the wather!” 

Morg. ( letting Mike go). Gentlemen, this is becoming un¬ 
bearable. We must go and make a search for that child. 

Enter John, the boatman , r. u. f., followed, by other sailors. 

John. Aye, Mr. Morgau, I believe there’s mischief in the 
winds. This drunken lubber hired me boat fer a row on the 
waves wid the little gal, an’ has come in widout her. When 
I axed him where was the little one, he said I should go t$ 
the devil. So I telephoned fer the police an’ came to you. 

Morg. What course did they take ? 

John. Sou’east, sir ; beyond the crags, where very few 
venture in small craft. I have sent me mates to explore, sir. 

Max. Where’s the use to waste law on such a fellow ? 
Let’s hang him before the police arrive, if he don’t tell. 
(Sailors echo , “Hang him ! ”) 

Morg. Are you going to tell us where that child is ? 

Mike. Ax me somethin’ aisy, will ye ? 

John. Lads, the monster ought to be stretched up to a 
yardarm. I’ll get the rope, ef ye’ll hoist his carcass aloft. 
(Sailors echo , “ Get the rope!' 1 ' 1 ) [John exits , r. 

Max. Bring on your rope, Mr. Morgan. Why don’t you 
search this fellow T ? We may find some evidence of a crime. 

Morg. Search him if you like. 

Mont, {searches him cvnd finds roll of bills. which he hands to 
Morgan). Who is this man, that he carries all this wealth ? 

Morg. Michael, where did you get this ? 

Mike. Why, sor ; ain’t thot good money ? 

Morg. Gentlemen, this money is from my safe. I have 
been duped. [Exits, l. u. e. 

Max. What is the use of wasting time on such a villain ? 
Here comes the rope—let’s use it. 


38 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Enter John with rope , r. u. e. 

John. Aye, mates! the lads can tind no trace of the gal. 

Max. ( taking rope and making noose). We will hang the 
rascal to the first tree. « 

Mike. Don’t Oi ’ave somethin’ to say about thot ? Ye 
are a noice lad, to git a mon into a bad job, then hang him fer 
it. 

Max. Shut up! You’ve had your say about this matter, 
now it’s our turn. 

Mont. ( starting off, l. u. e.). Come, boys! There is a con¬ 
venient tree. {Men all grasp rope , and Maxwell tries to put 
loop over Mike’s head. Policeman enters , r. , followed by com¬ 
rade, and calls in a loud voice.) 

Policeman. Desist here. I’ll shoot the first one who tries 
to lynch that man. {Takes Mike away from them. Picture 
formed as curtain drops.) 


Curtain. 






THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK, 


39 


ACT IV. 

SCENE.— Parlor at the home of Robert Morgan, same as in 
Act II. As curtain rises Pete heard outside thrashing Em- 
reham, who bellows loudly. After business of whiffling 

Pete heard. 

Pete. Now, den, am yo’ gwan ter pesticate yo’ ole fadder 
any moah ? Look, now, how yo 5 spile yo’ fadder’s bes’ coat 
wid whitewash. 

Eph. I doan kere. 

Pete. Yo’ doan kere ? Well, den, I gib yo’ some moah. 
Heah, come back heah, sah! Look heah, boy, yo’ kotch de 
debil when I git yo’ agin. 

Pete enters , c., with his coat badly smeared with whitewash. 

Pete. By golly! dat coon am de worstest little debil I 
done seed fo’ de las’ forty yeahs. ( Striking an attitude.) Look 
at ole Pete, den look at dem coat. I clare ter goodness ebbery- 
ting around heah am gwan ter de dogs. Massa Morgan he am 
all broke up ’bout suinfin’, Missus Morgan am sick in de bed, 
an’ Missus Edna she look kinder lonesome ebber since de lit¬ 
tle gal war drownded at de white folks’ picnic. I’ze de only 
tranquil one ’bout de place. Dat ole Hibernicum snoozer what 
stole Massa Morgan’s money am gone up de flue, an’ I done 
heah some white folks say dat he’s gwine ter a necktie party 
nex’ Septober. By golly! I wonder where de folks am gone! 
{Calls loudly .) Massa Morgan! Massa Morgan! 

Enter Robert Morgan, l. c., looking careworn and tired. 

Morg. What is it, Pete ? 

Pete. Heah am a lettah fo’ yo’, sah. 

Morg. {taking letter). Why, what is the matter with your 
clothing ? 

Pete ( looking at himself). Dat young fool niggah, Eph re¬ 
ham, he git up on de high fence, an’ when I come on de walk 
he turns de whitewash pail ober me. Now look at dese yar 
garments. 

Morg. Never mind, Pete; there are worse things in the 
game of life than being whitewashed. Pve got some bad news 
for you. 

Pete, What am it, massa ? 


40 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Morg. I am afraid you will be obliged to hunt a new home 
soon. (Sits in easy-chair at table.) 

Pete. What am dat, massa? De ole man got ter look fo’ new 
home ? (Pulls large red bandanna from pants pocket and begins 
to show emotion.) Didn't I gibyo’ honest work, massa ? 

Morg. Yes, Pete; I have no fault to find; you have been a 
good, honest fellow. 

Pete. Am it on account ob dat coon Ephreham ? I’ll 
keep dat young niggah tied up ter home, massa. 

Morg. Oh, no; the boy is mischievous, but that is nothing. 
The fact is, Pete, I expect to lose every dollar I am worth. 

Pete. Lock de safe, massa, fore some one git in dar. (Edna 
stands in door , c., unobserved.) 

Morg. You don’t understand me, Pete. I owe a great debt, 
which must be paid, and it will take every dollar I am worth, 
together with this home and the cottage where you live. 

Pete. Fo’ de good Lod sake, Massa Morgan, what will be¬ 
come ob ole Dinah an’ de little chiluns ? 

Morg. I don’t know, Pete; it is a serious matter. 

Pete. I’ze got it, massa! Sell ole Pete. He will fotch one 
thousand dollars, an’ I’ze good fo’ de nex’ forty veahs. 

Morg. Pete, slavery days are done away with, and were 
they not, I would never sell you unless forced to do so. 

Pete. Say, massa, I’ll sell de mule, an’ Dinah am got four 
dollars, an’ de chiluns am got some moah, an’ yo’ can hab it 
all. 

Morg. Pete, you are an honest-hearted, simple-minded old 
fellow. I appreciate your willingness to make a sacrifice for 
me, but you don’t comprehend the magnitude of this obliga¬ 
tion. Keep your money, Pete; you will need it all for your 
wife and little ones. Leave me now. 

Pete. Massa Morgan, you’ze been good ter dis yar ole man 
an’ Dinah, an’ we doan like ter lebe ye; but doan worry ’bout 
us, massa; de good Lod will care fo’ ole Pete, an’ we’ll come 
out all right; doan worry for us, massa. [. Exits , l. 1 e. 

Morg. (opens and reads letter). 

Louisville, Ky., Sept. 10. 

Ttobert Morgan , Esq. 

Dear Sir: As the time draws near for a settlement, and 
having heard nothing from you direct, I have made arrange¬ 
ments to be at your place this afternoon, and will bring a mag¬ 
istrate with me, so that we may expediate business. I shall ex¬ 
pect at least half the amount of your indebtedness down, the 
balance in three years, with good security, bearing interest. 
Please be in readiness, as Mr. Montgomery and myself wish to 
take the evening train for New York. 

Your obedient servant, 

Thomas Maxwell. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


41 


(Crushing letter.) My God, I am ruined. 

Edna ( comes quickly forward and kneels at his side). You are 
not forsaken, father. God will be your friend if you will 
trust him. 

Morg. {stroking her hair). Yes, daughter, I will try to use 
reason, for we must live in some way. Were it only myself I 
w r ould not mind it; but when I know that my loved ones 
must soon be paupers it nearly drives me wild. {Buries his 
face in his hands and sohs.) 

Edna {caressing him). Poor, dear father, this is a dreadful 
blow for you! I cannot believe Uncle Henry ever intended 
this matter would make you trouble, can you ? 

Morg. No, daughter, a thousand times no! My brother 
Tvas the very soul of honor. 

Edna. Father, does mamma know the worst ? 

Morg. No; I have not dared to tell her. She is just re¬ 
covering from the effect of Bessie’s death, and this blow would 
kill her. And yet it will be impossible to keep her in igno¬ 
rance of the fact after to-day. 

Edna. Father, I will save you, and will become the wife of 
Frank Montgomery. 

Morg. No, no, daughter: better is it for us to starve in the 
street than that you throw your life away and live in a palace. 

Edna. Father, I think Frank Montgomery loves me, and 
w r ould try to make me happy. 

Morg. But, Edna, daughter, do you love Frank Montgom¬ 
ery ? 

Edna {holds to chair as if slightly faint; appears to he trying 
to say yes; then straightening up). No; I can’t lie to you, 
father. I despise him! 

Morg. Then you shall never be his wife. 

Edna. Father, leave the matter with me to decide. I w r ill 
do that w r hich is for the best. 

Enter Pete, c. 

Pete. Massa Morgan, de debil am close by. Maxwell an’ 
Montgomery am come, an’ want ter see de boss, an’ dar am 
anoder fellah wid dem. 

‘Morg. Pete, show Mr. Montgomery and the stranger into 
the library, and bring Mr. Maxwell to me. 

Pete. * Show Mr. Maxwell ter Mr. Montgomery an’ de 
stranger, an’ bring yo’ ter de library. 

Morg. No, Pete; you don’t understand me. I wish to see 
Maxwell alone. 

Pete. Oh, yas; show Massa Maxwell to yo’, an’ bring de 
library ter Montgomery an’ de odder stranger. 

[Exit 8 , c., quickly. 

Edna. I do not wonder that the poor fellow gets things 
mixed to-day. 


42 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


Morg. No, indeed; I don't know what will become of him 
after this crash. I wish you would leave the room now, Edna. 

Edna. Yes, papa; and let me beg of you, for mamma’s sake, 
don’t get discouraged, no matter how embarrassing the situa¬ 
tion or how severe his terms. 

Morg. {sitting centre). How little we appreciate the blessings 
of this world until we are deprived of them! Little did I think 
one month ago that in four short weeks not only would our 
Bessie be lying in a watery grave, but that we should be home¬ 
less and out in the street. (Voice of Bessie heard above him.) 
Have courage, Uncle Robert, and all will be well. 

Morg. (rising and starting wildly , then peers in every 
corner). Hark! That’s little Bessie’s voice. (Galls.) Bessie! 
Bessie! Can it be my poor disordered brain? (Puts his hands to 
head.) That was certainly her voice. ( Listens and calls softly.) 
Bessie—where—are—you ? 

Enter Maxwell and Pete, c. 

Max. Good-day, Mr. Morgan. 

Morg. (starting violently). Silence, sir! You are not worthy 
to speak in the same room with that angel child. 

Pete (coming to Morgan). Massa Morgan, am yo’ sick ? Dis 
am Massa Maxwell. 

Morg. (sitting.) Oh, excuse me, Mr. Maxwell! I forgot 
myself, I guess. Pray be seated. Do you believe in ghosts ? 

Max. (sitting on sofa). I can't say that I do. No, sir. 

Pete (peering into corner). Oh, Lod, massa, am dar any 
ghosts round heah ? , 

Morg. I heard Bessie Morgan’s voice as distinct as I ever 
heard her speak. 

Pete (shaking). Did—did—did yo’ seed her, Massa Morgan? 
Whar war she ? 

Morg. What’s the matter, Pete; are you cold ? 

Pete. No, sah; I’ze — i’ze skert, dat’s all. 

Enter Miggie quickly , c., and as Pete finishes last sentence she 
touches him on the shoulder; he springs high in the air and 
screams. 

Pete. Oh Lod, I’ze a dead niggah dis time! 

Miggie. Why, Pete, what’s the matter with you ? 

Pete. Lor’, missy, you mos’ kill de ole man dat time. I 
darter goodness I tout yo’ am a ghost, shuah. 

Miggie. Well, Dinah has been calling to you from the kitch- 
en for an hour, and if you don’t come there will be a black 
ghost around here soon. [Exits, c. 

Pete (going). I clar ter gracious goodness I feel like I war 
turnin’ white. I nebber did like ghosts. 

Max. Mr. Morgan, I am sorry to trouble you further on this 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


43 


matter, and wish it might be otherwise. I am afraid these mat¬ 
ters are having a bad effect on your nervous system. 

Morg. Sir, I care nothing for myself, but it’s hard to see 
those near and dear to me turned out of home, and I not be able 
to buy even a tent to cover their heads. I tell you, sir, words 
cannot express the horrors of this hour. My wife has not 
been apprised of the matter as yet, and I fear to tell her. Can't 
you wait just a few days until she is stronger ? 

Max. Couldn’t do it, Mr. Morgan, though I would like to 
accommodate you; but I must leave for home to-night, and I 
wish this matter closed up before I go. 

Morg. Have you no feeling for those in distress ? Take 
what money I have by me, and give me time to turn myself and 
prepare so much as a humble cottage for my family. 

Max. I have as much sympathy for you as any one could 
have under existing circumstances. Why didn’t your daughter 
accept the offer made by Mr. Montgomery ? Then all would 
have been well. 

Morg. Slavery has been abolished in this country, Mr. 
Maxwell. Do you think I would sell my daughter even to save 
my home ? 

Max. Very well, sir; you know the alternate. 

Morg. Yes, too well. IIow much will you compel me to 
pay ? 

Max. Twenty-five thousand dollars dow T n and the other 
half in three years. 

Morg. Maxwell, you know I can’t make it. 

Max. Then, to save trouble and lawyers’ bills, why not give 
me a deed of this property, and I will cancel the balance of the 
debt. 

Morg. That is to say, after you have every cent a man pos¬ 
sesses you will not take more. You are certainly very generous. 

Max. Well, what do you say ? 

Morg. My answer is no! If I am to lose all I possess it 
will be when the law compels me to give it up. 

Max. Very well. I have come prepared, and will commence 
proceedings at once, though the former way would be less pub¬ 
lic. 

Morg. Maxwell, give me a few moments to collect my 
thoughts and break this dreadful news to my wife. I would 
like her counsel. 

Max. Very well; go and talk with your wife. I will wait 
here till your return. (Morgan exits, l. c.) There goes 
another man tied to a woman’s apron-string. 

Enter Montgomery, c. 

Mont. Well, Tom, you are getting on swimmingly. If the 
old duffer will only give a deed instead of going to law! But 
say, Tom, I saw the girl a few moments since, and she asked 


44 


TIIE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


for an interview. You just take a stroll out, and I’ll remain 
liere. It’s my opinion she has repented and wants to make up. 

Max. No doubt that’s her object. A woman wouldn’t be 
in her proper sphere if she couldn’t quarrel one day and make 
up the next. Well, I’m off for a stroll. Don’t wear the knees 
of your trousers out kneeling to her. Keep a stiff upper lip, 
and you will catch her twice as soon. [ Exits , c. 

Eph. ( heard outside calling to Max.). Ileah, yo’ white man, 
whar am dat ten centses dat I owe you ? I want dat ten 
centses. 

Mont. ( soliloquizing as he sits in easy-chair and lights a cigar¬ 
ette). That’s right, young man, get your ten cents if you can; 
that’s what we are all after in this world. If it were not for 
the almighty dollar I wouldn’t be in this muddle, and if I 
were well out of it the wealth could go to the dogs. If it were 
not for that villain Maxwell, I would throw myself on the 
mercy of Robert Morgan and confess all; but Tom has led me 
on from one degree of crime to another, until our list of felony 
is complete. Drinking, gambling, cheating, stealing, perjury, 
and (in a hoarse whisper ) murder! (Edna enters, c. Mont¬ 
gomery starts as he hears her step , then rising makes a low bow, 
and motions her to the chair.) Please be seated, Miss Morgan. 
(He sits on sofa , she in chair.) 

Edna. Mr. Montgomery, are you in doubt as to the nature 
of this interview ? 

Mont. I am somewhat surprised that you would speak to 
me at all after the unpleasant termination of our last interview. 

Edna. Extreme cases call for extreme remedies. I am here 
from necessity, not from choice. 

Mont. Indeed! 

Edna. Frank, you once claimed to be my true friend. 

Mont. I did, and am yet in all that the word implies. Can 
I be of any service to you ? 

Edna. Tell me, Frank, is there no way to stay this terrible 
avalanche of sorrow that is about to sweep us from our home ? 
Is there no avenue of escape ? 

Mont, (rising). Yes, Edna; but you have declined to accept 
it. 

Edna. I know, Frank, but would you take a wife who 
• has no love in her heart for you ? 

Mont. ( standing by her side). Edna, you have asked the 
question, I will be candid with you. I would much prefer one 
wdio would return my love. I think, however, that by striving 
to make your life happy I could win your respect, and in time 
you would learn to love me. But frankly, Edna, since our 
late unpleasantness I have dismissed the matter, and have tried 
to forget that I ever cared for you. I think we were both too 
hasty that day. 

Edna. Yes, it is human to err. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


45 


Mont. Blit divine to forgive. Nevertheless, what is done 
now must be done quickly. If you wish to reconsider your 
verdict and save your family from the street, I will give you 
another opportunity. 

Edna ( leaning back and closing her eyes). Let me think for a 
moment, Frank; my brain is in a whirl. 

Mont. (takes a turn around the room, slowly looking at pictures , 
etc., then goes to centre and motions to imaginary person , then 
comes to Edna). Well, Edna, we must be brief if there is any¬ 
thing further. My friend Maxwell is coming. 

Edna {starting). Frank, I cannot deceive you. I have no 
love for you, and you wrong yourself when you marry me. I 
am frank with you. I will marry you to save my dear parents 
from the street. Do you accept the situation ? 

Mont. I do, Edna, for I know" you will learn to love me 
in time. 

Edna. God grant it may be so! When must the ceremony 
take place ? 

Mont. Choose your own time. 

Enter Maxwell, c. 

Max. Ah! am I intruding ? 

Mont. Not in the least; you are just in time to congratu¬ 
late me. Miss Edna has reconsidered her answer, and will 
become Lady Montgomery. 

Max. A very wise decision, indeed ! When does the happy 
event take place ? 

Mont. I have left that matter with her to decide. When 
will it be, my dear ? 

Edna {starting as if f rom a dream). Oh, I beg pardon. I 
should prefer Christmas. 

Max. On the contrary, my dear young lady, the wedding 
must be this very day, if you wish to avail yourselves of my 
offer. 

Edna {covers her face in agony). Oh, Mr. Maxwell, have 
mercy! 

Mont, {winking at Maxwell). And why to-day, Maxwell ? 
You know she or her friends are not prepared. 

Max. I can’t help that, my boy; “delays are dangerous.” 
I must leave on the night train for New York, and I propose 
to have these matters disposed of, in one way or another, before 
I o’o. If you are married, then these documents will pass to 
you as a wedding gift from me; if not, they go to the courts. 

Mont. Maxwell, you are rather exacting. Won’t you give 
us till to-morrow ? 

Max. {looking at his zccctch). Not another hour; I ought to 
be at my hotel now. I have delayed this matter too long 
already. 

Edna. Let it be so, Frank. {Rising and leaning on chair 


46 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


for support .) I will go and lind mother and father. ( Goes 
slowly , c.). 

Max. Cheer up, young lady; it’s only once in a lifetime. 
We have a magistrate here with us, and can be ready at any 
time. 

Edna (looks imploringly to Montgomery). Frank, cannot 
we even have a minister ? 

Mont. The time will not permit, Edna. (Edna exits, c.) 
Tom, you would make a splendid slave-driver; you have no 
heart. 

Max. Driving slaves is nothing compared to breaking the 
will of a stubborn woman. In either case, they will give you 
“back talk” till they find you are boss; then they will be as 
meek as Moses. 

Mont. You must have had some experience, Tom. 

Max. Well, yes; I have three living wives and two dead 
ones. My last was the only successful contract out of the five. 

Mont. How so, Tom ? 

Max. She was killed in a railroad accident, and I got four 
thousand dollars damage. Now, I’m going to the library and 
get the magistrate. 

. Mont. How can we explain the matter to him ? 

Max. Oh, you poor tenderfoot! Leave that to me, and 
ask no questions. 

Enter Pete, c. 

Pete. Am Mas*sa Morgan, licah ? 

Max. No. What do you want of him ? 

Pete. Dinah say de dinnah am ’bout ready. ( Starts to 
leave, c.). 

Max. Come back here, you old reprobate. 

Pete. Who yo’ call crowbate, white man ? 

Max. Are those the best clothes you have ? 

Pete. No, sah; Ize got some meetin’-house clothes. 

Max. Well, go and put on your “meetin’-house” clothes 
and come back. Try and wash some of that black from your 
hands and face. 

Pete ( holding up hands). Dem am fast colors, boss, dey 
won’t wash off. What yo 1 want ob me ? Am yo’ de new 

boss ? 

Max. Yes; now get a move on you. 

Pete. O Lawd, help dis yer pooh niggah. [Exits, c. 

Max. {going). Now, my boy, brace up and prepare to put 
on your sweetest smile. If there is anything I dislike to see, 
it’s a bridegroom with a long face. 

Mont. Maxwell, please don’t joke. I feel too serious to 
enjoy puns. 

Max. Shall I bring some splints for your knees ? [Exits, c. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


47 


Mont, {sitting). Dem my buttons, I wish I were well out of 
this scrape. 

Enter Morgan, c., supporting Mrs. Morgan, who should hole 
pale and haggard. Montgomery rises to receive them. 

Mrs. M. Frank Montgomery, will you be kind enough to 
explain this terrible state of affairs ? 

Mont. Mrs. Morgan, I do not know how much of these 
matters have been disclosed to you. 

Mrs. M. I understand we are to take our choice between 
loosing our home or our daughter. 

Mont. Exactly so, Mrs. Morgan; and it is Edna’s choice to 
become my wife and save the home. 

Mrs. M. I comprehend, and all my husband or I can say 
does not change her purpose. There is intrigue somewhere, 
I know it ; and, Frank Montgomery, if I find you have used 
unlawful means in this matter, I will follow you night and day 
until I have avenged my child’s wrongs. 

Morg. Be calm, mother; we will hope for the best. 

Mont. There is no need of all this worry, Mrs. Morgan. 
Your daughter will be w r ell cared for, and in time you will be 
glad that she is happy with me. 

Mrs. M. Why this hasty marriage ? 

Mont. My friend Maxwell is a very eccentric and peculiar 
man, and, like many others of his standing, proposes to have 
matters his own way, and he offers to present me with these 
papers only on condition that we are wed before he leaves to¬ 
day. 

Mrs. M. I fail to understand his motives. 

Enter Edna, c. Comes down and puts her arms around her 

mother's neck. 

Edna. Come, mamma, cheer up ; now, there is no use to 
fight against the inevitable. God has ordained it thus or it 
would not be so. 

Mrs. M. Daughter, my heart is breaking. I know you are 
not happy. 

Edna. Mother, where is Miggie ? 

Mrs. M. I could not say, Edna. She disappeared early 
this morning, and I am greatly concerned at her absence. 

Edna. Will our trouble never cease! 

Enter Maxwell and Pete, c. Mr. and Mrs. Morgan sit on 

sofa and Edna in easy-chair. 

Max. My friends, are you ready for the ceremony ? 

Morg. {rising). Mr. Maxwell, I am ill at ease over this 
matter. 1 can see no reason for all this haste. 

Max. Sir, this matter has been canvassed both pro and con. 


48 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


These young people have wisely agreed to be united before I 
leave. If you object, make it known now, before the magis¬ 
trate is called in, as he knows nothing of the circumstances. 
Pete, show the gentleman in from the library. 

Pete. Yes, sah. [ Exits , c. 

Morgan sits. Mrs. Morgan lays head on Morgan’s shoulder 
and weeps ; E dna puts handkerchief to face. After a pause 
enter Pete, followed hy Squire Snyder. 

Max. Squire, we are ready for the ceremony. These young 
people wish to be joined in wedlock. 

Snyder (to Montgomery). Is that the wish of you both ? 

Mont. It is, sir. {Leads Edna to l. c. Mr. and Mrs. 
Morgan stand.) 

Snyder. You will please join hands. ( They join.) If 
there be any one present who can show just cause why this 
couple should not be made man and wife, let them speak now, 
or forever after hold their peace. 

Mike ( appears quickly at c. in custody of two officers and calls 
loudly). Sthop! Oi ferbid this marriage. 

Max. The devil you do. ( Springs for Mike. First Of¬ 
ficer presents pistol, and taking Maxwell hy the collar, puts him 
hack to place and stays by him.) 

Snyder (to Mike). Why this intrusion, sir ? 

Mike. To sthop this divelish work, sor. It’s all fraud, 
an’ the varmints desarve to be hung, so they do. 

Edna leaves Montgomery and goes to her mother's arms. 

Mont, (starting toward Mike). Take that back or I’ll kill 
you. (Second Officer shoves him hack to place and stays with 
him.) 

Snyder. Give your reasons, sir, for this boisterous intru¬ 
sion. 

Mike. Oi am here, sor, to accuse these men av conspiracy 
to murther Bessie Morgan, an’ in plannin’ a false marriage to 
defraud Miss Edna out of her inheritance. 

Max. Where are your proofs, sir ? 

Mike. Didn’t ye hire a poor Irishman to murther the choild,' 
an’ pay him with money which ye sthole from Mr. Morgan’s 
safe ? 

Max. Squire Snyder, will you demand that that crazy 
devil be taken back to prison, where he belongs ? 

Snyder. On the contrary, sir, I propose to hear him 
through. Go on with your charges. 

Mike. The divils came til me sometime ago, an’ offered me 
foive thousand dollars to murther the choild. Knowin’ that 
the varmints wad do the deed thimselves ave Oi didn’t, Oi tuk 
the job. 



THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


49 


Snyder. And committed the murder ? 

Mike. No, sor; Oi Diver confised thot. Oi tuk the choild 
out on the wather, an’ landed her wid a friend up the beach. 
Oi knew the divils were playing their kerds for the choild’s 
money, so Oi just wint pacebly to jail an 1 let thim hang thim- 
selves. 

Max. Out on such a flimsy lie! If this be true, let him 
produce the child. 

Mike. Yis, sor ; here she be. (BessIe and Miggie run t 
quickly in at c. Bessie runs quickly to Mrs. Morgan and Edna ; 
business of caressing and kissing. As Bessie enters , all exclaim 
as follows, and in unison.) 

Morg. My God ! there is Bessie. 

Max. The devil! 

Mont. Tom, look at that; we our lost. 

Mrs. M. Our own Bessie. 

Edna. Thank God! 

Pete {after the rest). Bress de Lawd. 

Snyder {giving Mike his hand). Well done, my man. 
Have you anything more to say ? 

Mike. Yis, sor. Oi denounce Tom Maxwell an’ Frank 
Montgomery fer the wilful murther av Lord Burton, an’ the 
attempted murther av Henry Morgan, av Neyoirk, an’ orther 
the arrist av the two av them. 

Max. Squire, this is a villainous trap which this rascal is 
trying to get us into. We are old enemies, and he does this 
for revenge and without better proof than his word. I ques¬ 
tion your right to detain us. 

Snyder. Have you any further proof of their guilt, other 
than your word ? 

Mont. What is the fool’s word good for ? 

Mike {pulling off trig and heard quickly ). Do you question 
my word, Frank Montgomery ? 

Bessie {screams). My papa! {Huns to Mike [now Henry 
Morgan], who takes her in his arms, etc. Friends all rush for¬ 
ward, and congratulations follow in natural way.) 

Mike. Yes, kind friends, I am Henry Morgan. My reasons 
for masquerading in this manner are briefly told: I did it that 
these two wretches might be caught in their own trap. Three 
years ago my old friend. Lord Burton, was foully murdered 
at my home in New York. I suspected that my then con¬ 
fidential clerk, Frank Montgomery, had a hand in the crime. 
Later on, he lured me to the pier with a decoy letter purport¬ 
ing to come from a friend of mine, the captain of the schooner 
Denmark, then lying at anchor out in the bay. When at the 
pier, I hired that rascal {pointing to Maxwell) to row me to 
the vessel, supposing him to be an ordinary boatman; but 
when we were well out on the bay, surrounded by a dense fog, 
he fired at me but missed. Knowing that the act would be 


50 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 


repeated, I dropped quickly in the water; and he, supposing 
me dead, turned about and pulled for shore, while I swam to 
the end of the first pier, and climbed out unharmed other than 
getting a good wetting; and knowing well that their villainy 
was not ended, I concluded to disguise and watch their little 
game of intrigue through, which I have done to my satisfac¬ 
tion. And when I have recovered from Maxwell that docu¬ 
ment of obligation now in his possession, and from Montgomery 
that receipt for the payment of th same which he purloined 
from my private papers, I will consign the two innocents to 
the watchful care of the Pinkertons of New York, who have 
the clinching proof of their crime. Brother Robert {taking his 
hand), I owe you and your family an apology for keeping you 
in suspense for so long a time, also for Miggie’s disappearance 
this morning. In order to have Bessie present to face these 
villains in their guilt, I confided to Miggie my plans, and 
quietly delivered the child to her keeping early this morning. 

Miggie {coming to Mrs. Morgan). You will forgive me, 
won’t you, Mrs. Morgan ? 

Mrs. M. {kissing her). Certainly, my dear. 

Bessie {laughing). Uncle Robert, did you hear me call to 
you from the register up there {points upward to ceiling) in 
Miggie’s room ? 

Morg. {shaking her). Yes, you little rogue ; I thought it 
was a voice from the other world. 

Bessie. I wanted to say more to you, but Miggie pulled 
me away. 

Pete {to Maxwell). Say, Massa Maxwell, am yo’ de new 
boss ? 

Max. Shut up, can’t you ? Let good enough alone. 

Enter Ephreham, c. 

Eph. {calls to Maxwell). Say yo’, white man, I want dem 
ten centses. 

Max. {to Montgomery). Montgomery, we’re in the soup. 

Mont. Yes, and this all comes from keeping bad company. 
I might have been an honored and respected citizen to-day 
had it not been for you. 

Max. Oh! don’t lay it to me, pardy. It’s all on account of 
that quart of poor whiskey. 

Mont. Ladies and gentlemen, after the horse is stolen the 
barn must be locked. It’s plain to be seen that this is not our 
lucky day. 

Pete. Bress de Lawd! 

Mont. Don’t trust to appearances; they are deceitful. Let 
whiskey alone, for in each and every glass lurks a devil, though 
at the time you may mistake it for an angel. I can trace my 
downfall directly back to my first drink. 

Max. You took too large a dose, old boy. 


THE CONFIDENTIAL CLEEK. 


51 


Mont. Maxwell, how can you jest at such a time as this ? 

Max. I saved two years by good behavior the last time I 
was up. It pays to be pleasant. 

Mont. Maxwell, have you no regrets for your past career ? 

Max. Just one, and I hope these friends will profit by my 
sad experience. Never put your trust in an Irishman who 
wears a wig. 

Pete. Bress de Lawd! 


Curtain. 










I 


PROSCENIUM AND DROP SCENE. 



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